Avopocalypse: 8 Reasons You Should Start Hoarding Avocados
If guacamole is your go-to happy hour app, or chocolate avocado pudding is your stay-slim dessert secret, you may need to press the panic button pronto.
Recent reports say we may face an avocado shortage in America due to the ongoing three-plus-year drought in California.
California citizens have been rationing water, and farmers are paying a premium for this basic necessity, as the drought has taken over 98 percent of the state.
We’ve seen this panic before -- nearly a year ago and, again, just a few months back -- but yesterday’s repeat reports bring a whole new level of hysteria over this impending adios to guacamole.
The nutritional powerhouse is creamy, green and oh-so versatile. It serves many purposes, from breakfast toast, a happy hour staple and even dessert, to a delicious face mask that will rejuvenate your skin post-winter blues.
Not to mention, we may get a little less healthy from this impending doom; avocados are packed with fiber, have more protein than nearly any other fruit or vegetable, plus tons of healthy fats that protect against a plethora of diseases.
Americans are eating more avocados than ever before, and, unfortunately, avocados take much more water to produce (72 gallons more water for each pound of avocados grown) than most other fruits and vegetables, so supply is having difficulty keeping up with demand.
Although avocados are not reported to become completely extinct, here are the top eight reasons we should all start hoarding avocados now:
1. A Chipotle burrito (bowl) will never be the same.
After recent news that Chipotle had to temporarily remove guacamole from their menu due to a steep hike in cost, we got nervous.
The avopocalypse is real, people, and your burrito may never be the same.
2. We can save ourselves from the impending heart-attack epidemic.
Avocados are one of the best sources of monounsaturated fat -- a heart-healthy fat that has been shown to reduce cholesterol and the impending build up of plaque responsible for heart attacks.
Without avocados readily available and affordable, we’ll have to find a new trendy food to keep our tickers in tip-top shape.
3. Cinco de Mayo will get a whole lot sloppier.
Of course, this catastrophic news breaks just over a week before the avocado’s national holiday: Cindo de Mayo.
Without chips and guac to “absorb” some of those margs, fiestas are about to get a whole lot more interesting.
4. We can prevent going broke.
To avoid being dramatic, yes, avocados are still available, but be prepared to pay a pretty penny. Reports mention that your average guac app in NYC can cost you upwards of $14. Hoard these babies now and #BYOguac.
5. Because no one wants to find a new topper for their beloved $10 toast.
Not even hummus will be able to replace your overpriced — yet, totally worth it -- brunch staple.
6. Food bloggers will have to come up with a new way to eat chocolate pudding.
Chocolate and avocado is a food blogger's match made in heaven, so get ready to put on those thinking caps once again.
Cauliflower pudding??? I know you can do it.
7. So we can avoid another dermatologist appointment.
All that #avotoast you’re eating is helping you glow, girl. The absence of avocado in your life may mean you need more help to achieve that dewy summer skin.
8. Because no one wants a guacamole-free Memorial Day weekend BBQ!
Guacamole’s hottest season is approaching, and no one wants to attend an unofficial start to summer BBQ without chips and guac. Stock up now!
How about we figure out a way to funnel water to California? No, doesn’t work that way? Hmmm…