Mind = Blown: This Discovery Explains Why Patrick Star Is So Dumb

by Eitan Levine

Full disclosure: You will spend the next three hours going "OOOOOHHHHHHHH" out loud.

If you can't spare to have the next three hours spent doing that, you may want to save this little chestnut for later.

SpongeBob SquarePants' best friend, a starfish named Patrick Star, is not smart.

He's always been dumb, and he will probably go on living his entire existence in the cartoon as a dumb starfish.

Just like McDonald's not selling breakfast items after 10:30 am and a cappella bands feeling required to release their own slightly worse covers of "Uptown Funk," this reality has been blindly accepted -- that is, until now.

One Tumblr user, africanyounot, posted a revelation her sister had about Bikini Bottom's mindless resident.


Mind. Blown.