Rachael Kirkconnell Says It's Been "Years" Since She Had Sex

Rachael Kirkconnell is giving details about her dating and sex life, eight months after her breakup with Matt James. According to Kirkconnell, she’s been “chronically single” since the split — but her dry spell has lasted even longer. During an Oct. 16 episode of Extra Dirty, Kirkconnell told podcast host Hallie Batchelder that it has been “years” since she’s slept with anyone.

Kirkconnell and James broke up in January 2025 after meeting on The Bachelor four years earlier. At the time, James posted a cryptic Instagram announcement about the split. Since then, Kirkconnell has kept pretty quiet about her love life. But now, she’s opening up. “I feel like a virgin again. OK, I don't think that we've like discussed, guys. I haven't had sex way longer than you think. I'll just put it that way,” she said on the podcast. “It's been years. Years. It has been so long.”

“And that's why I'm saying like I feel like a virgin again to where I don't want to just give it up to anyone,” Kirkconnell continued. “It's like almost like I can't just like hook up with someone random at this point because it's been so long that I want it to be incredible.”

She hasn’t met that special someone yet. “I’ve been so chronically single. I haven’t been on a single date. I’m not on the apps. I’m not judging anyone who is on the apps, but I just don’t think that would work well for me,” she added. “But honestly, if it gets to a point, I might have to jump on them.”

Kirkconnell also shared that she feels connected to demisexuality since her breakup with James. “I just don’t think I could go home with anyone,” she told Batchelder. “I have to feel safe and comfortable with them and be emotionally invested at least in a way that I could see us dating or I at least have a crush on them … It’s not a physical attraction, I guess.”

“I can say, ‘Wow, that person is really attractive.’ I obviously find them really attractive, I think they’re really hot, but I don’t care after that, cause they could still be like a terrible person or have the worst personality ever, and that would make me not want to sleep with them because that totally turns me off,” she added. “I guess their attraction can only get so far for me. Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know.”