8 Oscars More Relevant To Your Life Than The Academy Awards
The 88th Academy Awards is less than a week away.
On Sunday, February 28, we'll gather around our TVs with anticipation to see if 2016 is the year Leo finally wins an Oscar.
Now, if you aren't big into movies or don't really give a sh*t about celebrities, awards shows may not be your thing.
I mean, besides seeing if Leo goes home empty-handed, is there anything else to care about?
Some people say, "Yes. It's a special night to honor the stars, directors, writers, producers, musicians, artists and people who have shaped our entertainment industry over the past several years."
Others say, "Nope, I don't give a flying f*ck."
If your feelings are with the latter, check out eight Oscars who are way more relevant to your life than the Academy Awards. If you don't care about the "Oscars" at all, well, keep reading and I'll change that.
1. Oscar Mayer Wiener
Oh, f*ck yeah. You know your middle school days were filled with Oscar Mayer lunch meats on the reg. I was a b-o-l-o-g-n-a girl, but hey, it's not for everyone.
Oscar Mayer also has the Wienermobile, and it's beyond epic. It's legit a hotdog on wheels. Even if you're a vegetarian, I'm sure you can appreciate this SICK ride.
2. Oscar the Grouch
WOW, talk about a throwback. If you didn't watch "Sesame Street" did you even have a childhood? This show was the best. My personal favorite Muppet was Elmo, but Oscar the Grouch was pretty chill, too.
The guy doesn't even have a nose, so maybe that's why he doesn't mind hanging out in trash all day.
Instead of listening to movie soundtracks, check out Oscar's compelling song entitled "I Love Trash." Brilliance.
3. Oscar from "The Proud Family"
"Family... A Family... Proud Family." Oh come on, you know you still have this show's theme song stuck in your head. It's just so catchy.
Remember Oscar Proud, the father of the Proud family? I'll help jog your memory: He's super over-protective, kind of a loser, works at the Proud Snacks factory and is always fighting with Suga Mama.
BASICALLY, HE WAS A MAJOR PART OF YOUR CHILDHOOD AND THEREFORE V IMPORTANT.
4. Oscar Isaac
OK, yes, Oscar Isaac is an actor, but he's on this list because he's super sexy and um, because his name is Oscar.
From "Ex Machina" to "Star Wars" to "Robin Hood," Oscar Isaac has basically been in everything. He's really fun to watch on the big screen (THOSE EYES), and I think his beard is so glorious it's relevant to everyone's life.
5. Oskar from "Hey Arnold!"
Is the nostalgia hitting you yet? "Hey Arnold!" may be the greatest TV show ever created.
It felt like Arnold was helping Oskar in every episode. Whether he was having relationship issues with Suzie, taking care of a baby or learning how to read, Oskar probably wouldn't have made it through life without Arnold.
Also, I'm sure you remember the famous episode where Oskar wouldn't STFU with his line: "You keep the money!" Sometimes he did get a little bit annoying, but Oskar was an essential component of the show.
Bless you, Oskar. Bless you.
6. Oscar from "Arrested Development"
Ahh, yes. We have to talk about Oscar, George's identical twin brother. Let me just bring up the fact he's DEFINITELY Buster's dad. He just has to be, there's no way around it. Why'd it take Buster so long to catch on?
Instead of tuning in to the Oscars, just sit back, relax and binge-watch "Arrested Development." It'll basically be the same thing.
7. Oscar from "The Office"
ANYONE ON "THE OFFICE" IS OBVIOUSLY RELEVANT TO YOUR LIFE. There's not even a question about it. This show gives me life.
Where would Dunder Mifflin have been without Oscar Martinez? His quick wit and know-it-all attitude held the accounting department together.
Remember when Michael kissed him? And he kissed Angela's husband?? Those were the days.
8. Oscar the fish from "Shark Tale"
Last, but certainly not least, we have to shout out Oscar from "Shark Tale."
Voiced by Will Smith, Oscar is an underachiever who's dating Angie, is BFFs with Lenny and works as a tongue-scrubber at Whale Wash.
He also dated Lola (that sexy fish, remember her?), and there was lots of drama with that relationship. WHAT A STORYLINE.
Instead of tuning in to the Academy Awards, I'm sure you'd have an equally great night grilling Oscar Mayer Wieners and watching this movie. Don't quote me on that, though.