Kylie Jenner doesn't know what “Friends” is, and anyone who does is an ancient bag of gray hair and bone dust.
If your eyeballs haven't atrophied over the bazillion years you've been walking the earth trying to decide if you're a free-spirited Phoebe or an obsessive compulsive Monica, check out a new video by ELLE wherein Kylie is asked to select her favorite character on “Friends.”
What is that?
LOL, YEAH, WHAT IS THAT, EVEN?!
Maybe her parents know what “Friends” is, but not Kylie. She was born in August 1997, when every home in her neighborhood had a Mac PowerBook and the Heaven's Gate cult members already committed mass suicide.
When pressed further, Kylie insists,
I know what 'Friends' is. I mean, I don't WATCH 'Friends.'
Of COURSE, she doesn't watch "Friends," duh.
“Friends” does not apply to Kylie Jenner's life.
She is not:
A.) Collecting social security
B.) An AARP subscriber
C.) 500,000 years old
She does own a Jazzy Power Chair, but she only uses it for photo shoots.
The truth is, Kylie Jenner doesn't need to watch a show about six pals trying to have it all in the big city because she already definitively has it all in several major cities.
She's living the dream we all attempt to experience vicariously through David Schwimmer.
The only thing Kylie worries about is what her spirit emoji -- upside-down smiley face -- says about her.
She's forever young, forever successful and forever exhausted by your outdated references.