Jessi Draper Ngatikaura Is Ready For The Storm

Jessi Draper Ngatikaura is bracing herself. The Utah native is in the middle of a busy press week in New York City, leading up to the release of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 3 on Nov. 13. The day before all 10 episodes drop, we’re grabbing a quick lunch at Refinery Rooftop in Manhattan. Her PR representative calls me beforehand to check that Ngatikaura can, in fact, eat during this interview — otherwise, there’s no time in her schedule for a meal break. Rest assured, she gets her food: a quesadilla, french fries, and Coca-Cola. I debate ordering a soda, too. “You have to,” she says. “It’s the Utah way.”

As we eat, Ngatikaura is quick to crack a joke and laugh — her easygoing demeanor is a stark contrast to her emotional arc this season on the Hulu reality show. While the Season 2 finale ended with Vanderpump Villa’s Marciano Brunette claiming that he and Ngatikaura had an affair, the latest installment puts the 33-year-old into the hot seat as her marriage struggles become the main focus of MomTok.

When the Season 2 finale aired in May, Brunette’s story seemed far-fetched — most viewers thought that he was lying to protect Demi Engemann (after rumors of an inappropriate relationship between them dominated the second half of Season 2). “Once that finale aired, everyone jumped to the conclusion that Demi set it all up and it was all fake,” Ngatikaura says. “It was kind of nice because for six months no one believed it.”

Season 3 swiftly ended that reprieve. When confronted about the rumors, Ngatikaura revealed that she and Brunette kissed twice and texted for two weeks afterwards, engaging in an emotional affair. Her husband, Jordan Ngatikaura, already knew about the situation, though they had been hoping to keep it private. But when cameras picked up on the rumored affair, the couple knew they needed to set the record straight.

He's a liar, so I think it's hard for people to take his word for things.

Ngatikaura denied Brunette’s biggest accusation: that they had slept together. Even when he backtracked, she wanted to clear things up with a polygraph test. “He's a liar, so I think it's hard for people to take his word for things,” she says. “So I wanted tangible proof.”

The test proved her innocence on the sex claim, but it left some details murkier. When asked if there was any other physical contact or if she had lied at any point, Ngatikaura’s results were inconclusive. “I said no to the physical contact question, but I kind of forgot we held hands, or he touched my leg. I wasn't taking that into account,” she says. “For the lying question, I said no because I was telling the truth — but for over six months, I did lie about everything. I tried to hide the affair. I lied for Demi to cover her tracks. I should’ve thought those questions through more.”

With Season 3’s release, Ngatikaura is aware that a storm of public opinion is coming. “Now that people know the truth, it's a little scarier. It's nerve-wracking, for sure,” the hairstylist and owner of JZ Styles says. “It’s hard not to project on someone, so if someone's been cheated on, they're probably going to hate me for what I did. Jordan may get some backlash, too, depending on how people perceive him.”

How, exactly, is she preparing for the onslaught of hot takes and haters? “A lot of therapy.” Couples counseling has also been crucial for working through the rough patch. The Ngatikauras got married in October 2020, and though their relationship appeared smooth-sailing in early seasons of Mormon Wives, Season 3 shed new light on their dynamic. As navigated the damage of her affair and his history of “emotional abuse,” Ngatikaura and her husband decided to take a 90-day separation. By the finale, they chose to reconnect and focus on repairing their marriage. Six months later, they’re in a similar spot.

This coming out publicly was a weird blessing in disguise.

“We are back together, working on things,” Ngatikaura says about their current status, sidestepping speculation about why she swapped her Instagram and TikTok profiles with her maiden name just before the season aired. “Marriage is so hard, and relationships in general aren't easy,” she says. “I just wanted to know that no matter what, whether we end up together or not, I gave it my all. I can say I don't regret trying.”

She’s also gained a new perspective on the “humbling” experience of having her affair exposed to the world. “This coming out publicly was a weird blessing in disguise,” she says. “Obviously, it was humiliating and embarrassing, but it actually gave us room to face it and get help. It forced us to go to therapy and make changes. As of right now, it looks like we're on an upward hill.” This time around, the couple has put new boundaries in place. “I told him, ‘If you ever speak to me the way you used to speak to me, I'm out.’ And he knows that.”

As for Brunette, Ngatikaura has happily tuned him out. When I mention he posted about her and Engemann (specifically, thanking Ngatikaura for “leaking” texts) on Instagram, she’s surprised. “Has he? I blocked him,” she says. “I haven't seen them, but I have not been surprised by anything he's done because that's just kind of who he is. I expect him to post more once the show comes out — he's going to love his moment on camera.” (She’s right. He wasted no time posting about his appearance in the show, sharing a mini trailer of his stint on Season 3 and joking about taking on Ngatikaura’s husband in a “boxing match.”)

I was so terrified of fighting with her that I was like, ‘Let's just be civil and good.’

Some people are not as easy for Ngatikaura to ignore. Season 3 didn’t resolve Ngatikaura and Engemann’s issues — which first came to light in Season 2 — despite several discussions between the former best friends. In Episode 6, they had a one-on-one conversation about the situation with Brunette and where they stood with each other. “I really didn't want to do it at first. I was like, ‘Ugh,’” Ngatikaura says. “But so much of the season was spent questioning, ‘What's true?’ ‘What's not?’ I realized that maybe we did need to sit down face-to-face and hash it out.”

Going into their conversation, she had plenty of reservations. “I know Demi, and I know she's really good at manipulating situations and lying,” she says. “So I was like, ‘Is this even going to be productive?’”

They were able to chat openly until Engemann accused Brunette of sexual assault, which Ngatikaura questioned but didn’t want to dig into. “I felt like she was trying to call me a victim-shamer,” Ngatikaura says. “I was like, ‘If it gets perceived that way, I'm screwed.’” Engemann’s claims put an immediate end to their dialogue. “I was so terrified of fighting with her that I was like, ‘Let's just be civil and good.’”

They revisited their friendship in the season finale, when all the MomTok members reunited to air their grievances and (hopefully) find some peace. “We hadn't all just been good in a while, so it was really cool to see that we could be adults and do that,” Ngatikaura says. “I felt very proud of how vulnerable everyone was — even Mikayla [Matthews] and Whitney [Leavitt], they both were really raw with their emotions. It was good to see people putting aside their grudges to come back together.”

Unfortunately, the truce did not last long. “Demi and I got to a better point. It was good for a month or two, and then it fell apart again,” Ngatikaura says. “But that's to be expected. That's what always happens.”

Now, Ngatikaura is focusing on her career (she launched her own hair school, JZ Academy, in May) and her marriage — plus, her MomTok besties. “I’m closest with Mikayla, Mayci [Neeley], and Taylor [Frankie Paul],” she says. “Mikayla and Mayci are people I can call for literally anything. They're always down. And Taylor's a really good support system — we're always voice memo-ing late at night.”

In the end, it sounds like MomTok has been peaceful since filming wrapped for Season 3. According to Ngatikaura, even this press tour has been drama-free. “Everyone's on great terms right now — except Demi, and she chose not to be here,” she says. “Now, we know we can survive anything, because we've been through so much together.”

So, yes, MomTok can survive this — and whatever’s coming next. It seems like Ngatikaura will fare just fine too, even if she’s anticipating criticism in the coming weeks. Looking ahead, she’s hopeful about leaving her main character moment behind. “If there's another season, I'm manifesting less of a spotlight on me. You always want it until you get it, and then you're like, ‘Oh, this is hard.’”