Confession of the day: I haven't been to the gym in months. SHOCKER! IS YOUR MIND BLOWN?
I haven't had any time, all right? It's been a busy summer. However, after watching Kanye West's music video for "Fade," I immediately renewed my membership.
I watched the VMAs on a really big TV screen, so Teyana Taylor's abs were larger than my face. She danced around in a sports bra while I shoved a bagel into my mouth and licked the cream cheese off my fingers.
Please don't picture that, I'm not trying to murder you.
The point is, Teyana Taylor is one sexy girl. I want to hang pictures of her muscles in my kitchen so I rethink my choices when I open the fridge.
I want to play "Fade" at my wedding and force my husband to recreate the dance while I sit on my ass and eat cake.
I WANT TO HAVE A BABY AND TAKE SEXY PICS IN A FIELD OF SHEEP. I could keep going, but I'll STFU for time's sake.
If you're fangirling over Teyana Taylor as much as I am, then you're in for a treat.
The dancer goddess-lady is the star of a "Champions" freestyle music video, and it's hotter than "Fade." I'M NOT LYING TO YOU.
Teyana is basically naked wearing only flakes of gold and chains. She does all these crazy dance moves, and her body looks insane.
SERIOUSLY!!! This isn't what I look like naked.
Again, don't picture that.
Check out the full music video above to watch the hottest dance moves of all time. Teyana, you're my hero. Now uhhh, BRB, gonna go do some squats.