On Friday, April 24, Bruce Jenner told Diane Sawyer and the rest of the world, "For all intents and purposes, I am a woman."
But, he wasn't always a woman.
Back in the day, Bruce was, what some would say, a stud. Those unkempt locks framed a chin made of angular granite. He had that little patch of hair just below his collarbone, which was the peak of sexy in the 70s. And, his perpetual bedroom eyes swam in your soul.
From a completely objective perspective, Bruce was fine as hell. Even my mom told me she used to have a crush on him.
In addition to being really, really, ridiculously good-looking, Bruce also won the most difficult event at the Olympics: the decathlon.
Traditionally, the winner of the decathlon is named the "World's Greatest Athlete" for good reason, seeing as athletes must complete the 100-meter run, long jump, shot put, high jump and 400-meter run on the first day.
The next day, they have to take down the 110-meter hurdles, discus throw, pole vault, javelin and 1,500-meter run. On the third day, I assume they enter a multi-month hibernation.
Bruce's victory at the 1976 Olympics made him a national star. He was AP's Athlete of the Year and his name now rests in many Hall of Fame lists.
After championing the Olympics, Bruce made semi-successful forays into acting, business and racecar driving, which collectively kept him on the C-List. In the strange realm of semi-celebrity, Bruce met Kris Jenner.
And, so, he took on his role as a surprisingly rational wet noodle on "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."
When Bruce and Kris announced their split, we rejoiced that this fallen national hero might get to live the rest of his days in peace, away from the drama of a family full of women and the control of Kris.
Little did we know, Bruce Jenner was dealing with more than a divorce and the assumed issues of a superficial lifestyle.
Underneath a guise for decades, Bruce had apparently never been at peace with himself. And, he chose this sunset moment of his life to claim and being to freely express his feminine identity.
As the public is wont to do, many mocked Jenner for what seemed to be a liking for nail polish and long hair, among other things put on display by the paparazzi.
It seemed like a drama stew, which the Kardashian braintrust had cooked up and canned for a later date.
It didn't read as real, especially since that entire program is basically a magic show to make you believe you're watching the lives of actual human beings.
But, the headlines stayed on the glossy covers of magazines, and Jenner's landmark decision to transition into a woman has now been confirmed.
The response has been overwhelmingly positive, including a white mink blanket of support from many Kardashians. Kim posted a picture with Bruce to her Instagram with the hashtag, #prouddaughter.
Kris Jenner expressed an immensely mature and downright beautiful sentiment via her Twitter page. Khloe and Kendall called Bruce a hero.
Here's the point: In his prime, Bruce Jenner was the masculine ideal. Michelangelo would have squirmed with desire to immortalize that frame in marble.
Bruce could have enjoyed a lucrative career in promotional speaking about manhood, dedication and other Olympic clichés, which would have sold out conference halls and failed to teach anyone anything new. The warm womb of compromise and success was always open.
But, he did something much bolder: He became the most visible transwoman.
He showed that a member of this oft-maligned community can be the best athlete in the world. He put a recognizable face and a cool presence at the front of the LGBTQ-rights movement.
At the same time, the Kardashians stand to lose a sizable chunk of revenue.
And, they're among the most money-hungry people this planet has ever seen. The format of their show will change, and America could be captivated by the drama minutiae of another nouveau-rich family.
But, they took that risk; they supported Bruce on his personal journey.
Unlike almost everything the Kardashians have ever done, this move seems devoid of opportunism. Sure, TV ratings might make them a pretty penny, but this isn't a publicity stunt. This isn't Kim marrying Kris Humphries; this is real life.
And, so, if one of the most "masculine" men ever to live can become a woman, and if one of the most morally-deprived families in history can accept him, it probably wouldn't be such a bad thing for our country to keep up with the Kardashians.
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