WHERE MY FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE LADIES AT???
Hay girrrrrrrrls — Justin Bieber has an unmissable deal for you.
Don't spend New Years Eve 2016 in some dingy club bathroom reassuring Julia this is finally the year her boyfriend proposes. Instead, leave that sad ruiner at home and celebrate with an equally sad but way more famous pop star!
For a totally doable $500,000, you can purchase The Ultimate VIP package for Justin's December 31 show in Miami.
BUCKLE UP, PARTY PEOPLE HARBORING LITTLE CONCERN FOR THE REPERCUSSIONS OF THEIR EXCESSIVE SPENDING!
According to TMZ, here's what you'll get for half a mil:
-10 tickets to Justin's show -A stage-front table for Justin's performance -Five nights at the Fontainebleau's Sorrento Penthouse -Comped dinners -Access to a poolside cabana -Access to exotic cars (we're talking Lamborghini, Ferrari, Rolls-Royce, McLaren) -An escort to Skrillex's LIV set -A yacht charter to STORY -A live performance by Marshmello at STORY -A meet-and-greet with Marshmello at STORY -The option to skip the entire trip to STORY, probably -A bottle of Armand de Brignac Brut Gold ($6,500 retail, bay-beh) -A Bloody Mary bar, in-suite chef and two-hour spa treatment for your January 1 hangover situation
WHAT ARE YOU EVEN FREAKING WAITING FOR? SPREAD THIS OVER A FEW CREDIT CARDS, ALREADY!
Will it hurt your wallet in the short-term/possibly until you die? Yes. Do you want to stay local for New Years and run the risk of seeing Julia cheat on her boyfriend for the 18th time, yelling about how "If he's not ready to grow up, neither am I!"? Hell no.
You worked hard [clap emoji] all [clap emoji] year [clap emoji] long.
Get out and treat yourself so good you ruin your chances of ever owning a home or any belongings ever again. Justin would do it. The boy left a monkey at an airport. Don't think too hard about this one... just act.