JoJo, JoJo, JoJo.
… Jojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojojo (sorry, once you start it's hard to stop).
JoJo Fletcher's chief priority in life is making sure no one is thinking too hard. She's like the Captain Beatty of Bachelor Nation, and if you don't get that reference, you're already doing a great job.
What I would tell him is to stop being in his head so much. Just enjoy it and have fun and not take yourself too seriously, even though I know you want to get better.
Nice try, JoJo, but you won't be able to lull Nick into complacency or the rest of us into complacency that easily.
Who among us could forget JoJo's advice to Rachel Lindsay when she was named her “Bachelorette” successor?
In a March interview with Extra, ol' Joj told the site,
I was gonna tell [Rachel] try not to be in her head that much but also listen to that mind of yours because you're smart, and don't let your heart get carried away with the looks and the lust, 'cause it happens.
Joelle Middle Name Fletcher. What the HELL is going on, here?
Why are you so intent on getting everyone to stop using their precious intellect when America is on the verge of being violently mouth-fucked by the most corrupt administration since the fictional one I mentioned earlier?
Whether one among us is looking for her husband in a mansion full of part-time personal trainers and "businesspersons" or dancing with his fellow "stars" and however many Chmerkovskiy brothers exist (three? 47? IDK), we need to keep our wits about us.
Do you think I like saying asshole stuff like "keep our wits about us"? I don't. I really do not. It's that imperative we resist the seductive promises of an empty mind.
We will not "stop being in our heads so much."
We will not "have fun."
We will not "just enjoy it."
We will stay vigilant until we die, which is probably soon.