9 Insane Celebrity Diets That Will Make You Glad You Aren't Famous

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People tend to follow celebrity diet fads based on the heart-stopping beauty of famous folk.

Unfortunately, celebrities live on the cusp of reality. Their diets are difficult for people living in the real world to implement. Still, there's no harm (yes, there is) in trying (do not try these).

1. Elvis Presley: Sleeping Beauty Diet

Introduced to the world by Jacqueline Susann's novel “Valley of the Dolls” in 1966, the Sleeping Beauty Diet allowed Elvis to pound peanut butter, bacon and banana sandwiches during his waking hours and burn off the calories in his sleep.

The logic of the SB Diet is pretty straightforward: If you aren't conscious, you can't eat, and if you can't eat, you can't gain weight. The King of Rock 'n' Roll would sedate himself for days at a time in an effort to stay svelte.

On a massively related note, Elvis was as insane in the head as he was gorgeous in the face. Do not try this diet at home… or anywhere.

2. Beyoncé: Veganism

In 2013, diva supreme Beyoncé and her hubby Jay Z abided by a vegan meal plan for 22 days. After the challenge, the “7/11” singer sparingly reintroduced meat to her diet.

When asked about her foray into veganism, Yoncé reportedly told “Good Morning America,”

I am not naturally the thinnest woman. I have curves… I have struggled since a young age with diets.

Don't worry, Bey, a vegan diet is just as miserable.

3. Gwyneth Paltrow: Elimination Diet

Gwyneth touts the Elimination Diet on her lifestyle blog, Goop.

In a detailed overview of the process, the actress explained,

This is a dietary program based on removing all the foods from our diet that are known to cause food allergies, food sensitivities, and cause disruptions in the digestive process… Choose your meals form the list of foods that are allowed. Combine them any way you want… use common sense. Leave the table '80 [percent] full.'

Gwyn's concept of almost-fullness appears to be a recurring theme in celebrity diets. If you're not hungry, you're not losing weight.

Her list excludes some meat, dairy, alcohol, refined sugar and coffee in favor of cold-water fish, legumes, select nuts, filtered water and Stevia.

OMG. YUM, GIRL!

4. Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, aka Kate Middleton: The Dukan Diet

To lose weight for what was, quite literally, her fairytale wedding, Kate Middleton followed a four-phase process called The Dukan Diet.

Step one, aka “The Attack Phase,” limits the dieter to only consume protein for two to seven days. For the better part of a week, the Duchess of Cambridge ate only lean meats, fish, egg whites and nonfat dairy products.

Step two, aka “The Cruise Phase,” asks dieters to switch daily between proteins and green or cooked veggies, devoting about five days to each pound he or she wishes to lose. What a treat!

Step three, aka “The Consolation Phase,” allows the dieter to add two slices of bread and a portion of fruit and cheese daily, plus two weekly portions of carbs and two weekly “celebration” meals.

Step four, aka “The Permanent Stabilization Phase,” lets dieters return to a laid-back, less-than-vigilant way of eating while devoting one day a week to step one.

It's the diet that never ends!

5. Reese Witherspoon: Baby Food Diet

The “Hot Pursuit” star was rumored to have consumed a diet of almost entirely jarred baby food in an effort to keep her calorie count down and avoid harmful additives.

While the diet is simple and cost-effective, it's also straight-up nasty for any adult who doesn't dig pureed carrots.

Plus, it remains unclear whether or not there's a sexy way to spoon baby mush into one's mouth in front of a work crush.

6. Anne Hathaway: Dried Oatmeal Squares

To lose weight for her role as tuberculosis-ridden prostitute Fantine in “Les Misérables,” Anne Hathaway's usual vegan diet did not make the cut.

Instead, the actress ate two squares of dried oatmeal paste each day and snagged an Academy Award for her work in the film.

The diet undoubtedly worked, but since none of us are angling for an Oscar this year, let's try something less extreme.

7. Angelina Jolie Pitt: The Ancient Grains Diet

The notoriously skinny actress and mother of 5,000 (ish?) children reportedly keeps her figure radio-antenna thin with the help of ancient grains.

A spoonful of coconut oil and a handful of cereal make for the perfect Angelina breakfast. Later, the “By the Sea” star will cook up some quinoa or buckwheat and pig out.

Mmmm, grainyyyy.

8. Victoria Beckham: Alkaline Diet

The fashion icon swears by the Alkaline Diet, which eliminates acid-forming foods like dairy, meat, sugar and coffee and replaces them with veggies and whole grains in an effort to keep the dieter's body's pH between 7.35 and 7.45.

Wait, a diet combining the thrill of restriction with the fun of recreational math and science?! SIGN ME UP!

9. Katy Perry: The M-Plan

The M-Plan or The Mushroom Diet keeps the highest paid woman in music thin by replacing one meal daily with a (preferably raw) mushroom-based meal for 14 days.

Though mushrooms are rich in vitamins and minerals, replacing meals with a low-calorie, low-fat, low-everything raw vegetable substitute is obviously going to promote weight loss.

It will also promote monotony and, in extreme cases, rage blackouts, but it's your life and your body.

Yummm! Mushroom meals, grain bowls, a coma -- with so many options, it's difficult to know where to start.

You know what? Forget it. This is exhausting. It's snap (snack + nap) time. Good luck, hotties!

Citations: The Sleeping Beauty Diet (DietsInReview.com), The Dukan Diet Everyone (Including Kate Middleton) is Obsessing Over (Cosmopolitan)