When You Decide To Settle Down, Make Sure You're Not Settling

by Paul Hudson

How crazy is the thought of actually settling down?

For most of us, it isn’t so much a question if, but rather a question of when.

There are, however, some of us who honestly have no interest in getting married.

There are even some of us who want nothing more, but alas never find the right person to settle down with.

Marriage itself, although religion will tell us otherwise, was created for the sole purpose of closing business deals -- usually between the fathers of two families.

Whether or not you like the concept of marriage, I don’t believe that anyone wants not to be in love. We all want to love and be loved.

In the end, we all want someone to spend our lives with. The thought of living life entirely alone is frightening.

We weren’t designed to go through life solo. We aren’t capable of handling it -- no sane person is.

Only complete sociopaths are capable of removing themselves from society and living without companionship of any sort. Human beings need other people -- at the very least, one other person.

If you are entirely alone then your life has little purpose, as we find living entirely for ourselves unfulfilling.

The hard part is finding the right person to live for. We live for the sake of being alive, but we need to direct our actions at a purpose; finding somebody to love is the ultimate purpose. It’s the only purpose that can actively make you feel appreciated.

It’s the only purpose that can give back to you even more than you put in.

There are 7 billion possible matches in the world.

There isn’t only one possible perfect match, but plenty. Unfortunately, you’ll never meet most of them.

You’ll be lucky if you even meet one of them. Even if there are 1,000 possible loves of your life out there somewhere, the chances of meeting any one of them on any given day is one out of 7 million.

Even if you meet 20,000 people throughout your lifetime, which is a generous number, your chances of ever meeting a person you are ideally compatible with is one out of 350.

You have less than a 0.3 percent chance of meeting someone you should settle down with.

This isn’t even factoring in the fact that most of the people you meet, you’ll meet during a time in your life when you simply aren’t ready to settle down.

Nor does it factor the likelihood of that person being incapable of loving at that exact point in his or her life either.

Then, of course, you have all those people who do meet the perfect lover – which does happen – and manage to screw it up. The end result is hundreds of thousands of marriages that are miserable.

Because we need to have other people in our lives, many will settle for whatever they think they can make work.

The problem is that for a marriage, or any relationship to work, there has to be love. You cannot, ever, live within such close proximity to a person for such an extended period of time if you do not love each other.

Not happily anyway.

People drive each other crazy – it’s because egos ram heads. If you do not love each other then there is nothing to stop you from bashing each other’s brains in over the years.

The ideal partner is a partner that not only loves you, but also one that intrigues you, fascinates you, holds your attention and admiration.

In plain English, you want to find someone better than you. You want to find someone that makes you want to change, to grow, to become a better person so that you can feel that you deserve the incredible partner you managed to find yourself with. To live is to constantly change.

Finding the right person to spend your life with, to live for, gives you a concrete understanding of the person you want to be; you want to be the best and most loving partner your lover could ever ask for.

Each and every person can change for him or herself – it’s entirely possible with enough willpower.

But finding a person you want to be better for is motivation like no other. If you’re going to settle then only settle up, not down.

Never give up searching for that person who makes you want to be the best possible version of you that you could ever be. He or she is out there.

The odds may be stacked against you, but at the same time, people often do find their perfect matches. Some call it fate.

Others call it the law of attraction. Others still believe that love itself is a force that draws two lovers together.

Call it what you may, just keep searching and don’t stop until you find exactly what you need. You’ll never be happy if you stop, if you give up. You will meet countless individuals who seem great, but don’t seem right.

Give every candidate a fair shot, but when you realize that that person isn’t better than you, that that person doesn’t inspire you to be better – doesn’t motivate you to try and match his or her brilliance – then keep moving.

You should look at your love with awe every single time you glance at him or her.

You should feel like the luckiest person in the world and you should appreciate the fact that you may very well be. You can settle for less…. But why in the world would you do that?

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