Women Want A Man With An Identity

by Eddie Fews

A good friend of mine once told me that " 20% of men sleep with 80% of the women." As I've grown up and matured, I've began to see traces of how true that statement honestly is. Let's take High School for example: In high school there are a few guys (Jocks, Popular Guys, Pretty Boys etc.) who seem to be getting with all of the attractive women in the school while the rest of the guys may get laid if they manage to scrap up a girlfriend or happen to get lucky at Project X-type house party.

Now, what separates the guys getting laid in high school from the guys who aren't? They have built up an identity, they have went through the high school trials and tribulations (Sports Tryouts, Pranks, Good Grades) that put them in a position of notoriety.  As you can see in the society we currently live in, anyone with fame is looked up to and adored by most people in the world today.

For most of us, High School has ended and a world of opportunities have presented themselves. However many men are still unaware of who they are in addition to why women aren't genuinely finding them attractive no matter how much money they have accumulated. Then they they hire me which leads to me telling them what I am going to tell you here.

You Could Be Working Too Much

If you have spent all of your time working since you were teen up until you are a grown adult, how can you have possibly had time to build an attractive identity? No dating and seduction tips in the world are going to help a man that still retains the identity of the virgin nerd from high school. Sure, hitting up the Gym a few times a week could help you develop a more attractive body and it's possible that taking an improv class would make you become a bit more socially adept.

Too bad the gym membership doesn't add up to much and you never find the time to take up that comedy class. You just come home everyday read a couple of dating & sex articles on the web, and as a result your character and personality remain the same. If you started with a virgin-nerd identity, you'll now have the identity of a virgin-nerd who is educated about dating and social dynamics. "Educated virgin-nerd"; I bet that's not quite what you had in mind.

Every time I work with a guy, I ask him how many hours a week he works and I usually hear everything from 50-80 hours a week. If you are studying seduction and not having any real success then there is a good chance you are spending too much time in the office. Enriching your identity is a major undertaking.

You will need time, you will need focus and you will need leeway for experimentation. I say this knowing that there will be resistance to the idea of reducing your workload considerably. Most of my clients are comprised largely of guys who in the past tried to succeed with women by making a lot of money, then hired me when their hard work didn't help their sex life at all. The problem comes in when men begin believing that money makes women find them attractive. Money does not make women sexually aroused; it makes them want to go shopping.

If you have money, use it to your advantage as you should use everything you can to your advantage when in pursuit of women. But just remember what kind of trade off you are making when you compromise your identity in pursuit of money. Identity is a lot more important when dealing with women than money is. All the money in the world won't  fill that void of a lonely man who doesn't want more money as much as he wants someone worth spending it on.

This appears to many to be an unpopular idea; but it is vital to your success with women to understand this. The man with an identity beats the man with fortune in the world of seduction.

Eddie Fews | Elite.

New York City's Dating & Seduction Coach: Eddie Fews. For coaching and consultation email me: and you will be contacted by me or one of my representatives within 24 Hours.