What Doesn't Kill You: 3 Reasons I'm Proud Of The Pain I've Experienced
Falling in love is a scary and beautiful thing.
You're giving yourself to someone in the hopes it will last forever.
Sometimes, though, your love fades, people change or someone hurts you.
Relationships take work, and if both people aren't willing to commit, then someone might end up getting hurt.
I've been in one relationship in my life, and I gave it everything I had.
I tried my absolute hardest to keep my partner happy, but one day, he just ended it with me out of nowhere.
I was blindsided and completely heartbroken.
I cried for weeks, until I finally realized it was his loss, not mine.
I might miss who I thought he was, but he lost the woman who would have done anything for him.
Through this heartbreak, I realized a few things about myself.
And the most important thing I discovered was I would honestly rather get hurt than to have never tried.
I waited 21 years to be in a relationship because I was so scared of having my heart broken.
I just didn't want to feel that kind of pain. But looking back on my relationship, I'm so happy I gave it a try.
Getting hurt sucks, but it's so much better than feeling nothing at all.
1. Getting your heart broken helps you grow.
I truly believe all people should experience heartbreak in their lives.
I'm talking about a can't-eat, can't-sleep, gut-wrenching heartbreak.
Getting your heartbroken is humbling, in a way.
Once you have your heart broken by someone, you understand the pain, and you most likely won't do that to someone else.
I think if you know what it's like for someone to rip your heart out and throw it on the ground, you will most likely be more compassionate when ending future relationships.
It's a pain unlike any other, and I believe everyone should go through it at least once.
2. It makes me feel alive.
Feeling hurt means you're able to feel.
If you didn't get hurt, then you'd just be numb, which is the worst thing in the world.
To go through life without feeling joy, pain or anything all is not the way one should live.
It's like you are just existing, but you're not really living.
I don't want to just exist here on Earth; I want to create something.
Going through a heartbreak is one of the most painful things I've ever experienced, but feeling that pain made me feel alive.
It means I can feel things deeply, and I can grow from it.
I don't want to live an emotionless life because I would only be lying to myself and hurting others.
I want to be able to feel pain and realize it's okay that I feel that away.
3. Feeling pain means you're vulnerable.
I think being vulnerable is the hardest thing in the world to do.
You're opening yourself up and handing someone your heart.
You're trusting that person to care for it and nurture it.
It's a beautiful thing to trust someone that much.
Even if it doesn't work out, and the person doesn't take care of your heart, you gave someone a piece of you that you can't ever take back.
Giving another person this much of yourself is being vulnerable.
And no matter how much my ex hurt me in the past, I'll never stop believing in love.
So yes, maybe I am crazy for being a hopeless romantic, or believing that one day, I will find the man of my dreams.
But, I'm proud of it.
I'm proud of knowing I can be vulnerable, feel alive and have my heart broken, but never give up.
I don't want to feel nothing at all; I want to feel everything: the good, the bad and the ugly.