Whoever declared a left swipe on a dating app would be a symbol of rejection was definitely inspired by Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable."
While I'm not sure how often men swipe left, or why, I feel it's my duty to tell the guys why girls are swiping left.
Women might be complicated in every other sense of the word, but when it comes to scoping out your potential, it takes a split second to decide which direction we're swiping, and the reasons are pretty universal.
You can be the hottest guy with the most interesting bio, but there are certain things men post that are an immediate turn off. Whether you realize it or not, your profile might be filled with instant deal-breakers.
1. What's with the fish pictures?
I don't know how many times women have to ask this question before it stops, but WTF is up with the fish pictures?
Whatever the motivation behind them, they have to go.
I understand fishing might be your passion, and you're simply demonstrating your talents and interests.
As a woman, I can tell you that seeing you hold up a big fish does absolutely nothing for me.
I've even seen dudes holding them up to their lips in a pretend kiss. Are you demonstrating our potential relationship with a dead fish?
It's gotten to the point that I don't even look through the rest of the pictures or read a damn word. As soon as I see the fish, I'm looking for the others in the sea.
2. Your job makes no sense.
If a girl is interested in a guy at first glance, his career is probably a non-factor. However, we don't want to date a guy who works at "The School of Hard Knock Life."
For one, we don't know what that even means. Are we supposed to be impressed by you pretending to be Jay-Z?
Guys, if you don't want to list your career (which is totally fine), please don't pretend you're a bad ass while you're using a phrase that's actually referencing "Annie."
3. Any and all mirror pictures.
No doubt I've come across some of the hottest bodies while swiping through a dating app. But I can assure you this, if it entails you holding up your phone in a mirror (whether it's at the gym, your dirty bathroom or a hotel room), once I see that awkward mirror pose, it's a no from me.
No way am I interested in someone who doesn't have enough of a social life to have a picture of them out and about with other people.
Standing in a mirror like a serial killer is an instant deal-breaker, even if it's showing off a three-piece suit before a wedding.
If you have to take the picture yourself, please just find a way to do it without a mirror. Even having your friend take a "candid"of you before an event will improve your chances.
The last time a quote explained anything about anyone was in our high school yearbooks (and even then it sucked).
If the quote is posted in place of an actual picture, I will get a finger cramp from swiping left so fast. And if I'm not swiping left, I'm showing as many friends as I can before hitting you with that rejection.
If you really have to post a quote, please put it in your bio and make sure it makes sense.
5. Photos that have nothing to do with you.
Some people are uncomfortable posting a picture of themselves online. But remember we're not going out with your dog, baby niece or the deer you just shot (see point one).
I've swiped left on robots, gerbils, paintings, action figures and plates of food.
Everyone has something that they feel passionate about and describes who they are. All us women ask is you are more self-aware when it comes to your dating profiles.
Nothing makes us feel more confident in your sanity than a picture of you out with other human beings your own age.
I know you care about getting laid, so let me help you get there.