If These 3 Things Happen On A First Date, There Probably Won't Be A Second
So, the single life isn't appealing anymore? You're finally ready to find that person you want to share your moments with and start a new, fulfilling relationship?
Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself and that's not the case, at all. Fall is here and so is cuddling season, and you just want someone to cuddle with? I understand.
Whatever your reason may be, you have an urge to start dating and you want to see what's out there and what the world has to romantically offer you.
If these three things happen on the first date, save your time and don't plan a second.
1. If you track how much time has gone by, it's time to go.
I've actually been that chick that's had a friend call me and enlighten me with some massive, imaginary, widely-vague incident that has gone down that requests my immediate attention.
I go through all the motions -- answering the phone in bewilderment (even though I texted them to call me), making facial expressions of complete shock to the made-up story that's being whipped up and last but not least, bid farewell to my date. I've done this twice.
The first guy was awkwardly playing footsies with me and I was checking my watch literally every five minutes until I reached the 30-minute mark of the date and physically couldn't stand one more foot hug.
The second guy put incredible amounts of thought behind every answer. He took 10 minutes to answer my simple, "What do you like to eat?" and then he changed his answer every time after apologizing for changing his answer. Needless to say, I was ready to go.
These guys weren't bad people, but if I'm uncomfortable, annoyed or can't be in an environment where I can have a conversation then it's probably a blueprint for what's coming.
A first date should be exciting and a platform for learning about one another, not trying to see how long you can go without checking the time.
2. If it's a one-way conversation there's no way you can have a second date.
Some of my best first dates have been with people who I can have great conversations with. I love to talk, the only time I'm breathing is when I'm talking.
I'm guilty of sometimes hogging the microphone during first dates, but for me that's a good sign; it's probably because I like you a lot and just want to talk about everything. However, as much as I like the sound of my own voice, I would also like it to be a two-way conversation.
It's cool if both people are talking a lot, as long as they're talking. Otherwise, I'm going to feel like I'm holding an interview; some of my bad dates have actually gone that route. Me: "What do you like to eat?" Him: "Italian." Me: "Awesome. If you had all the money in the world, where would you go vacation?" Him: "Colorado.”
There's only so many questions I can ask before feeling awkward. It goes the other way too, though.
If the guy doesn't let you let you squeeze a word it's time to go. Hearing someone brag about themselves is a complete turnoff and it just goes to show that they'll probably more worried about themselves in the relationship than you.
3. If you can tell from the first date that you are on two different pages, leave… like yesterday.
The first date is always a good way to get a glimpse of what the other person wants. You don't have to figure out exactly what they want out of this potential relationship, but you should try to get an idea.
This is important because he could be looking for a wife and you might've just gotten out of a long-term relationship and want something casual, or vice-versa.
If you have this conversation you can decide for yourself if the relationship is something you want to be part of, or if it's something you might have to walk away from before it gets any more serious.
It's important be able to go on dates, or spend time with someone you are considering being in your life, regardless of your intentions. It's good to get out there and meet new people, learn how to open up and just practice the dating routine. But, if you don't like you prospects, call it quits.
It's like they say: Better alone than with bad company.