Cheating is bad. Or is it? I understand that most people reading this are shaking their heads, but the truth is that sometimes it’s okay to cheat. Sometimes cheating is entirely necessary. Sometimes a man needs to be a man and cheat.
I’m sorry, ladies, but that’s the truth.
My definition of cheating would be "acting dishonestly in order to gain an advantage." And sometimes guys need an advantage over women. It’s no secret that women are often difficult to please (and even more difficult to understand).
Sometimes a man simply has to cheat. But there are only five times when that's okay. In fact, he's cheating only because he loves his partner.
1. When you bring home a box of chocolates even though she’s trying to drop a dress size.
You know good and well that she’s been surviving on rabbit food for weeks now, and you know that she’s been incredibly dedicated to her regimen.
You also know that she, for whatever reason, isn’t especially comfortable with her body. And you don’t really understand this because in your eyes she's gorgeous.
But you bring home temptation in the form of chocolatey goodness. You know she’s going to be mad at first, but you also know she will quickly unwrap the box, bite into a piece, close her eyes, melt for a second, smile and give you the other half.
And that’s all you want -- to see her enjoy that brief moment when cheating feels so very good. I mean, what's life without giving into temptation every once in a while and allowing yourself a taste of the forbidden fruit?
In this case, breaking her trust is completely worth it.
2. When you always look your best, even though you know you’re going to turn other women’s heads.
Let’s be honest. You definitely like it when other women check you out. Married women like being noticed, too. Everyone likes confirmation that he or she has still got it.
But that’s not why you make sure to look your most handsome. You do it for the woman you love.
The truth is that your woman secretly likes it when other women check you out. Seriously, she does. She just doesn’t want them touching you -- and most certainly wouldn’t stand it if you touched them -- but, like anybody, she enjoys knowing that other people want what she has.
You're hers, and you'll always be hers. And if she knows that, she can be turned on when she sees that other women would love to get their claws on you. She knows you’d never cheat on her, so she enjoys seeing other women long for something they will never have -- since you belong wholly to her.
3. When you ignore the gift budget that the two of you promised to follow.
"A hundred bucks," my ass. You know she's going to get pissed off you spent way more money on her than she did on you. She'll complain and feel guilty that your gift was so much more expensive than hers. She’s going to feel a bit hurt.
But you also know that as soon as she's done venting, she's going to be the happiest girl in the world. And that's not just because she loves the gift; it's because she has a man who thinks she deserves better than the best. She has someone who doesn't care about the price tag; he's just interested in making her happy.
Whether it’s for your anniversary, her birthday or the holidays, you always go out of your way to find the perfect gift. And you know what? She's absolutely going to love you for it.
4. When you throw off her routine by taking her on surprise trips around the world.
Shame on you! You know she has a lot of work to get done.
To be fair, you also understand work can wait, since there will always be more work to get done, projects to finish, emails to write, meetings to hold.
But you also know life is short. You know you love this woman more than life itself. And you know you want to spend time together creating memories, traveling the world and living life to the fullest. You don’t plan on standing in the way of her career, goals or dreams. On the contrary, you’re here to support her.
And that's why you're making her take a break from her tiresome routine to give her time to clear her mind and relax. She’s a bit of a workaholic, and sometimes she needs to be encouraged to take a break. And isn't that what a partner's for -- to help you build a life you'll love?
5. When you secretly consult her friends and family so that you surprise her.
You know she loves surprises. But how can you truly surprise her if you don't know what she wants? Sure, you could ask her what her dream birthday, New Year's and anniversary would be, but there are some things you can't ask about.
For one: How does she want you to propose to her? You probably already know what kind of wedding she wants, but I doubt you've talked about the logistics of your proposal. That would ruin the fun.
You can, however, ask her best friend, her sister or her mom. You don’t like the idea of talking about her behind her back, but you know that when you get down on that one knee, in the perfect place, at the perfect time and with the perfect ring, she will never, ever be able to forget that moment.
And when she nods yes with tears in her eyes, you’ll know that all this cheating has been completely worth it.