To all the men out there who don’t understand women:
NEWSFLASH: We don’t understand you.
Maybe if we can all communicate a little better, we can finally get ourselves on the same page and, in turn, not end up in these consecutive tried-and-failed relationships.
I’d like to believe that through observing the relationships of my friends, engaging in several of my own relationships and trying to openly understand all different types of people and connections, I think I have a good grasp on what women truly want. However, I do not intend to offend any woman who may not agree. Here are four major needs that are general to all women:
We want to be wanted.
The feeling of someone yearning for us is a sense of power and strength that we may not even realize we crave. To be able to label another human being as “ours” and know that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, that person will always be on our side is an amazing feeling.
Not implying that we want to control our significant other, but it is the nurturer deep down within us that triggers this type of emotion. We like to be that person on the other end of the phone hearing about your day or the one you come to when you don't know where else to turn.
Tell us your thoughts, dreams and aspirations, and it will not only bring us closer together, but also make the conversation flow more easily on both ends. Not to mention, you'll be prominent on our minds.
We want a friend.
Simply having someone to text, talk to or hang out with when we are sober means a lot to us. The physical aspect of a romantic relationship is always a necessity, but a relationship doesn’t really begin until people start listening to each other. Stop thinking that just because we are texting you all the time, we are ready to jump into bed.
Maybe we're just bored and we want to tell you about how much our favorite baseball team sucks, how some horrible driver cut us off on the highway or just to gush about how cute the dog we saw on the street was. We're not all ready to throw out the idea of a relationship at the onset of mutual attraction; so quit thinking with your d*cks and let it turn into whatever it may.
I mean, come on, why can’t we be friends first and foremost, either way?
We want to feel special.
There is nothing worse than watching a woman throw herself at a man who clearly doesn’t give two sh*ts.
If a guy really loves a woman, he is going to let her know it. He'll make her feel that love the ways he knows best: buy her flowers randomly (or an assortment of chocolates, cookies, ice cream), take her out to dinner, invite her to do fun activities, or propose any idea that gives him the opportunity to get to know her better.
A man can do something he likes and make a woman happy at the same time. Besides, in the end, both him and her have to like a variety of the same things in order to be compatible.
So men, do us all a favor: If you don’t feel the same way about a girl that she feels for you, don't sit back and let her treat you like a king. Be honest with yourself and with her; you're using a good woman, and you will only end up hurting her. Put yourself in her shoes. It is simply just wrong.
Some may say chivalry is dead, but karma is alive and well and she is a bad bitch. If you want a woman to treat you right, treat every woman you become involved with as you wish to be treated.
We want you to be honest.
If you don’t have feelings for a woman -- one who is pouring her heart and soul into your relationship -- let her know it. Stop stringing her along like a doll. She is only human; thus, she will only act as her emotions tell her.
Women don’t need men as much as you think we do. If your feelings aren't mutual, there is likely a man out there better suited for her than you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea; if you don’t see your relationship going any further, do her a favor and let it be known.
All men need to understand that not all women are going to be the crazy ex-girlfriend you can't seem to shake. Every relationship is different; every love is different. Don't judge a woman or a relationship before giving it a fair chance.
Take the time to truly get to know a woman. If it doesn’t work out, at least both of you took the time to try. In the end, you will have garnered an experience with a unique person and that makes for a fulfilling life.
Photo via We Heart It