It’s a casual Tuesday night with friends.
We’re out grabbing dinner, and then we decide to go for drinks at the bar.
We walk in looking cute and make our way to the bar.
If we don’t get a vodka soda with a splash of cranberry juice ASAP, the whole night will be a bust.
I order my drink and slyly look over at the gaggle of gays standing next to me.
I recognize him, the semi-cute, 12:43-am-on-a-Sunday Grindr hookup. (For those who don’t know what Grindr is, it’s an app that is commonly used for gay guys to hook up.)
I look over at him dead in the eyes, and he looks away, all embarrassed and nervous.
I keep looking over because I’m determined he will acknowledge me.
"The least you could do is say hello," I think.
I mean, I was inside of you a mere 48 hours ago.
Now look, I get it.
You’re with your friends, and maybe you don’t want to have to explain how you know me, but seriously, you can at least acknowledge my existence.
I’m not asking for a recreation of the evening while Ariana Grande is playing in the background, right there on the dance floor.
I’m just asking you look over, smile and maybe even say hello.
You weren’t that shy when you were chatting me up on Grindr from the privacy of your room.
Hell, you even walked the 3,287 feet to my door to hook up at 1:15 am. (If you’re keeping track, that’s about 30 minutes from initial contact to meet up.)
At this point, I’m a little annoyed and maybe even a little embarrassed because I just got played.
Even though we’re the only ones who know what’s going on, it’s my damn gay pride. All of us gays have it, and it can easily be tarnished.
I have a couple options here.
I could be extremely petty, bring up my phone and show all of your friends the dick pic (which you claimed was an 8, but let’s be honest) and all the other explicit pics you sent without a problem.
Yet, I took the other route because really is it worth it? I just walked away laughing.
My real question is, are you embarrassed you use Grindr as a means for sexual interaction?
If you’re embarrassed, then why do you use it?
More importantly, what exactly is there to be embarrassed about?
Two sexually active men in their 20s engaging in safe sex seems pretty f*cking natural to me.
Trust me, your friends aren’t going to judge you for using Grindr.
If you all got into one room and logged on, you’d see all your friends were a mere 3 feet away.
Is it the stigma that’s associated with using apps for dating and hooking up? If that’s the case, then that’s a whole other story.
But it's stupid.
This is 2015, when we use technology and our phones in every aspect of our lives. So, it's only natural we use it to hook up.
I live in New York City, a town with thousands of gay guys. Seriously, almost every guy here is gay, bisexual or sexually fluid.
Yet due to endless work and the trials of time and location, it’s sometimes easier just to sit in the comfort of my home, watching "How to Get Away with Murder" and waiting for that little white message box to appear.
I understand casual hookups are sometimes supposed to be a one-time exclusive, and that’s just fine.
But what I’m saying is this: As an adult, you could show a little respect when you run into someone you just had sex with two days ago.
I don’t want to date, be friends or use your Netflix login information.
All I want is the common courtesy of being acknowledged.
I know some of you are thinking that maybe he just wasn’t into it.
Well, I got a message shortly after he returned home saying, “That was hot.”
So, the next time you hook up with someone on Grindr, Scruff, Jack’d or the plethora of other apps, just have a little respect for the other person if you happen to see him in public.
The likelihood of a run-in is high because you more than likely live in the same area, if not the same street.