Being in the friend zone is a pain. It doesn't matter if he's your middle school crush, your best friend ever, your co-worker, whatever. The fact that your feelings do not receive the waited for echo hurts deeply, and often times, it hurts more than a breakup.
The friend zone works like torture. You're living with the fear that he'll reject you as his girlfriend (or perhaps he already did). But you also refuse to pull away because you love being around him. Deep down, you keep hoping your relationship will evolve the way you want it to.
The worst thing you can do is acknowledge your feelings to him. In most cases, this will turn him off immediately. Here are the reasons why:
1. You offer him no challenge.
He already knows you pretty well. So, once you admit your feelings to him, he'll believe he can be with you at any time, without any further investment required on his part.
2. You put him under pressure.
You're presenting him with a situation he didn't ask for. Most probably, he's not comfortable with it. Men don't handle this type of pressure well.
3. You make him feel awkward.
By confessing your feelings, you're basically depriving him of his comfort zone. Since you've been friends for quite a while, you might have even given one another dating advice and shared precious experiences. Therefore, there's no wonder if it's simply awkward for him to see you as anything else but a trustworthy friend.
The best way to transition from friend to girlfriend is to make everything seem like it's his idea.
So, if you want to get out of the friend zone, here are the ways in which you can pull it off:
1. Show him your womanly side.
Make an effort to look your best when you're about to meet up. Dress sexily, wear makeup or change your perfume. Just do something to show him a different side of yourself.
At the same time, adopt womanly and seductive gestures around him. Cross your legs slowly, play with a lock of your hair while talking, roll your eyes coyly, get into gentle “friendly” touches, be careful with your pose, etc.
If he spots you, don't admit it. Just smile and play the game further, or make the lame excuse that you're exercising your charms on him.
2. Stop spreading relationship signals.
Here is the truth: No guy dives right into a relationship. First, he wants to have fun, explore the chemistry and just let things flow naturally. Letting him know too soon that you're only interested in commitment will drive him away.
You need to show him you want to have a fun time too, and that you're not afraid to just try things out. Portray a positive, agreeable and easygoing attitude. This will puzzle and incite him right away.
3. Get into some real talk.
You're already friends. You talk about many things together. But how many of them really bond you at a personal level? If you think about it, you'll see there aren't so many.
Building emotional intimacy is a great way to get him closer to you and make him perceive you differently. Begin with a playful style, and then progress slowly to the core of your sores.
Here are some questions you can ask: What makes your day perfect? What is your most precious (or terrible) memory? What do you value most in a friendship? Which quality in a woman is the most important to you? What makes a relationship work?
Act playful all the way through, and tease him as often as the situation allows it.
4. Ask him to help you out.
Guys feel better when they help friends out. Ask for his helping hand with regard to something and make him feel useful, all while drawing him closer to you. This works even better if that helping hand requires you to spend more time together.
Remember to buy some of his favorite drinks. Thank him affectionately for his benevolence, and show him you appreciate his qualities and effort.
However, don't overdo it with dinner, compliments or anything else in that area. Putting him on a pedestal is never a great idea.
5. Become mysterious.
Mystery is inciting and alluring. Searching for a hidden meaning is often times more stirring than the meaning itself. Besides, women aren't the only ones who love mystery. Men do, too.
Spice your friendship with some mystery, and he'll be more interested. It doesn't have to be a big deal. You can just start an interesting confession, and stop right before you finish.
Or, you could start treating him differently all of a sudden. If he values your friendship or likes you in any way, he'll start wondering why.
6. Hang around other men.
Seeing you have a great time with other men (not including your common group of friends) might be just the clue he needs to see you as more than a buddy. Make sure you tell him about the fun you had with the other guys.
If he's not showing any signs of jealousy or responding to any of your clues, there's only one thing left to do.
7. Ignore him.
It's rather strange, but many people only value what they've got in their lives when they are about to lose it. Giving him a glimpse of not having you around any longer might be just the thing to make him treasure you as more than just a friend.
Finally, you should not continue to invest in a man who does not invest in you in the same way. Stop torturing and hurting yourself over a man who doesn't deserve you.
If this advice doesn't help you, you should give him up completely. Stay home for a while and focus on your career. Do whatever it takes to look the other way and move on. Whatever the case may be, I'm sure you'll be able to do it.
Want more awesome advice? Visit my blog (HisDesires.com), get my free e-book and learn exactly how to meet and keep a quality guy in your life.