Dimitrije Tanaskovic

5 Warning Signs In A New Relationship That Mean It'll Fall Apart

Ad failed to load

Here's what I don't get about relationships: No matter how high your self-confidence gets, you still end up compromising for people who just aren't that good for you. I don't know whether it is a trick of biology or pheromones, or whether sex impairs your judgment. Maybe it's because the frustration of a long dry spell can make you question whether you are setting your standards too high. That's why it's so important to pay attention to the warning signs in a new relationship.

Some of these relationship warning signs might appear early, but they aren't going to go away. In fact, as time goes on, they're only going to increase in volume until their alarm becomes impossible to ignore. That's why, whether it's your first date or your 15th, you need to listen to your gut. Remember that you are always better off alone than in a relationship that isn't good for you. Because no matter how much someone might claim to like you, there's just no one in the world who can love you better than you love yourself.

If one of these warning signs rings true for you, you might want to cut your losses and move on before you allow anyone to cause additional harm:

Ad failed to load

1. You Can't Concentrate On Your Work

OK, I get that falling for someone can be a little bit time-consuming, but if you find that your thoughts are totally preoccupied by the person you are seeing, that means you might need some time to cool off. I don't mean that you're thinking about them when you are falling asleep at night. I mean that you are distracted at work, you aren't following through on the projects you started before you meet them, and your new relationship is basically taking over all of your airwaves and your free time.

Ad failed to load

Are you treating this relationship as an escape from the real issues you are facing? Is it easier to think about your new boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner than it is your work? That means that your relationship is becoming a bandage for an underlying unhappiness. You can't put that much pressure on a relationship to be your only source of pleasure, or it's going to fall apart.

Your preoccupation with your partner might also be because they make you feel insecure or because you are worried about what they think of you. A new relationship should boost your confidence. You shouldn't be constantly questioning how somebody feels about you. If you are, then it's likely that you have a dismissive or untrustworthy partner, or you yourself have some issues with insecurity. It might be time to seek some outside help before you continue on with a relationship. Otherwise, your fears are going to bubble to the surface and take complete control.

2. You Get Anxious When They Don't Respond

Ad failed to load

If you find your fingers in a vice grip around the phone throughout the day, checking and re-checking for messages from your new partner — why? Are they going hot and cold on you? Are they unresponsive to your messages? Or are they just not a great texter, and that makes you nervous?

Whenever I was hanging on the words of one of my boyfriends, it was a sign that I lacked confidence in the relationship. There was usually a good reason that had nothing to do with how often we talked, but how they were behaving in our relationship. We were unhappy, and my anxiety was how it manifested.

Bottom line: No relationship is worth sacrificing your mental health or sleepless nights spent staring at your phone screen. Get out.

Ad failed to load

3. You Wouldn't Hang Out With Them If You Weren't Having Sex

 

Ad failed to load

This is a big one. Sex hormones are a real thing and can impair your judgment just as much as a weekend bender. Have you ever gone on a date with someone you weren't really that interested in, only to wake up the next morning completely infatuated? You think you are a rational human being until your body reminds you that you are actually just a sack of meat and firing neurons.

Pay attention to the conversations you are having with your new partner. Are you actually as interested in their mind as what they have to offer you physically? Infatuation can last for up to two years, but you don't want to make a mistake of building a relationship entirely around touch and sex. Every relationship has phases when sex is less important. If you aren't as good friends as you are lovers, your relationship is going to dissolve.

4. You Are Embarrassed To Introduce Them To Your Friends

Ad failed to load

You might fool yourself into thinking you like the person you are seeing and that they make you really happy, but if you feel something about them stops you from introducing them to your friends, then it means you are hiding some element of truth from yourself. Maybe it is because they do things that actually embarrass you. For example, maybe they make off-color jokes. You know it isn't right, but you just don't want to deal with it, so you can keep hiding, right?

Wrong. If you are actually embarrassed about something — like your new partner has a unibrow or is shorter than you or works in fast food — then get over it. Decide whether your embarrassment is actually a problem. Are they are doing something that goes against your belief system, or are you embarrassed because the person you like isn't the person you thought you would end up with.

If they aren't willing to hear you out about your feelings, or if you realize that you just can't make the compromises you are making, then you need to know neither one of you are going to change. And you shouldn't stay in a relationship where change is the expectation.

Ad failed to load

5. You Have Impulses To Flee

Maybe you're going to laugh at me, but a few weeks ago, I almost ended up in a relationship that would have been totally wrong for me, for multiple reasons. Here was the kicker: In the morning, he had to wake up early and sign for a package at his studio.

Ad failed to load

“You don't have to get up,” he said as he was getting dressed. “Stay and we'll have coffee.”

“I'll call you,” I said, while still in bed. It wasn't a joke, but he took it that way and laughed as he left the apartment.

Now, I admit that my impulse to get all of my things and go was very strong, but one of the reasons I convinced myself that I could date this person was that he had money and, more importantly, a cloud bed and a room with air conditioning. My impulse to continue to sleep in that bed was stronger than the one that told me to run.

Ad failed to load

Obviously, I would end up running, like, two days later, because he began to exhibit some seriously weird behavior. But if he hadn't, I imagine I would still be sleeping in that cloud bed. Because it was really comfortable. And it's August in New York, and I don't have air conditioning.

My point is: If you are talking yourself into staying in a relationship, and if the reasons you are staying in it are not actually about the person you are seeing, then it's only a matter of time before the perks of your relationship no longer outweigh the person you actually have to spend all that time with. You likely don't want the person. You want the cloud bed.

In the early days of your relationship, it is easy to talk yourself out of what you are feeling and convince yourself that you are the one who is being irrational, overly-judgmental, or clingy. Even if you are, who cares? That's just you, and eventually, you will be able to find someone whose quirks complement yours. Until then, suck it up, go home to your saggy twin bed, put a box fan in your window, and wait out the rest of the summer.

Ad failed to load

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!

Ad failed to load

Must Reads

5 Trends From The '90s Are Making A Serious Comeback, So Somebody Page Cher Horowitz

I was born in the '90s and my childhood was one Caboodles train case packed with scrunchies and butterfly clips after another. If you could believe it, early '90s fashion is already considered vintage (I officially feel old AF) and according to sprin…
By Stephanie Montes

This New Snapchat Feature Is Going To Make Your Stories Look Even Better

Giphy is officially taking over social media, and I'm not upset about it. After invading Instagram stories with funny animated stickers, the company partnered with Snapchat — and now, we're finally able to fill our Snaps with hilarious GIFs. In other…
By Amanda Fama

Your Weekly Horoscope Is Here & Luckily, It's All Good Things

Pat yourself on the back because you survived not only one but two major eclipses. The last few weeks have been one obstacle after another but you made it. You dealt with the pain, held it together, and prevailed. Now, your February 19, 2018 weekly h…
By Roya Backlund

6 Subtle Red Flags That Could Mean You’re Sleeping Way Too Much

Have you ever woken up after an unusually long night of sleep and felt, well, kind of awful? Whether you roll out of bed feeling super dehydrated, nursing a throbbing a headache, or you simply feel stiff as a board, there are reasons why your body mi…
By Annakeara Stinson

These 6 Workouts Can Be Done Right On Your Couch, & Yes, They Do Count As Exercise

Ever have that feeling when you're watching the Olympics like you should be working out, or at least stretching, but in reality you're just laying around eating chips? Yeah, me neither. But if you do ever feel that pull to work out when you're just l…
By Annakeara Stinson

10 Things You Should Say To Your Partner Every Day To Keep The Love Alive

When it coms to love, falling into it is a lot easier than maintaining it. There’s a reason, after all, that it's called "falling" in love, because it's mostly out of your control — the heart just takes over. Because those emotions come so easily and…
By Rachel Shatto

Science Says These 8 Foods Can Help You Live Longer, So Eat Up

If you're looking to live forever, or at least for an appropriately long amount of time, then the best way to get started on your journey toward immortality is to think about what you're putting into your body for fuel. Think of your diet as the batt…
By Caroline Burke

I Live In London & When Guys Find Out I'm American, They Only See Me As A Fling

I first entered the world of dating apps during a semester abroad in London, and I had zero idea what I was getting myself into. I was 21, had only ever dated boys I'd met through work, school, or mutual friends, and my appreciation for romantic come…
By Genevieve Wheeler

Here's Exactly How You'll Fall In Love, Based On Your Astrological Sign

One of my favorite things about learning about my zodiac sign and others' is learning patterns about my behavior that I can acknowledge and use to my advantage. As a Scorpio sun sign, I know I'm typically described as mysterious, drawn to loyal peopl…
By Elana Rubin

These 8 Red Flags Might Mean You're Pushing Yourself Too Hard In Your Workouts

If you live by the motto "no pain, no gain," or you frequently exclaim that your HIIT circuits "hurt so good," you're probably the type of person who challenges yourself to the max during your workouts. And while this isn't necessarily a bad thing, i…
By Georgina Berbari

I Tried Vegan "Spacepaste" & It Looks Like Straight-Up LED Lights On Your Face

As you might have noticed, 2018 is the year for glitter. So many brands have been releasing shining, shimmering formulations like they're going out of style. We're not even halfway through February, and Lemonhead LA has already launched the best glit…
By Kim Carpluk

These "Awkward" Proposal Stories Show There's No One Perfect Way To Get Engaged

There are a few adjectives people use to describe proposal stories that tend to be a bit more common than the rest. You know what I mean. How many times have you heard someone describe their marriage proposal as "magical" or "romantic" or — my person…
By Candice Jalili

This $20 Toy Simulates Pimple Popping, So You Can Save Your Face (But Still Lose Your Dignity)

As a self-proclaimed popaholic, I am not ashamed to admit that I love watching pimple popping and blackhead extraction videos. Call me gross, but I find it immensely therapeutic and satisfying. To all of my fellow weirdos, we’ve been blessed with a n…
By Ariana Marsh

Everyone Is So Thirsty Over This “Photo” Of Obama With Facial Hair

It's been a hot minute since President Barack Obama left the Oval office (though it feels like ages), and a lot of us miss him dearly. After leaving the White House, the 44th president remained out of the public eye for a little while, decompressing …
By Daniella Bondar

Meghan Markle Uses This $13 Natural Wonder To Grow Her Eyebrows Back & You Can Too

Meghan Markle is the world's new go-to celebrity for all things fashion and beauty — she's marrying a prince after all, so she must have some tricks up her sleeve. Meghan Markle's beauty routine is just as intricate as mine, because that's how real s…
By Alison Turka

7 Foolproof Things To Do Every Day If You're Tired Of Being Lazy AF

Being lazy can be oh-so-lovely. Until you start letting life pass you by, and not living to your full potential, then suddenly, it's not so good anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love my weekends when I can stay snuggled up in bed just a bit longer. Hit…
By Marisa Casciano

This Is How Long Most People Wait To Say "I Love You," Science Says

If I had to choose one word to describe saying "I love you" to your partner for the first time, I'd have to go with... hmm, exciting? Nope. Thrilling? Hardly. Terrifying? YES. Exactly. Saying "I love you" for the first time is terrifying. What makes …
By Candice Jalili

6 Reasons To Travel Abroad With Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend In Your 20s

Traveling can be many things: hectic, expensive, and definitely stressful. But with the right people or person beside you, all those troubles kind of just melt away. That's why there are some solid reasons to travel abroad with your boyfriend or girl…
By Alani Vargas