Unrequited Love Might Hurt Like Hell, But It Teaches You So Much

By Gigi Engle

Despite our best efforts to remain logical, it's hard not to be hopelessly swept away when love is involved.

Since love can be so consuming and is, ultimately, unavoidable, it’s no surprise that unrequited love can leave you hurt. How else can you react when your feelings for someone else are met with rejection or, worse, indifference?

And we’ve all been there. We’ve all carried the torch for someone who didn’t feel the same way.

But it doesn’t have to paralyze you. As a wise friend once told me, the harder the ball bounces down, the higher it bounces back up.

And though it may hurt, unrequited love helps you realize who you are and what you really want. When you bounce back up, you'll emerge even stronger than before. Here are some of the lessons you'll learn along the way.

You'll realize that you're stronger than you thought.

Realizing the person you love does not love you can make you feel incredibly vulnerable. But you'll survive the aftermath. Little by little you'll pass through the stages of grief into acceptance. You'll grow from the experience.

It won’t be long before you have trouble recognizing the person you were. You’ll vow never to feel that way ever again.

You can’t control how someone else feels.

There’s no use trying to convince another person to love you. You can’t force someone to bend to your will, no matter how hard you try.

But accepting this fact of life will bring you peace. Moving on makes you feel somewhat invincible, and when you come out on the other end you'll know for sure that nothing can hold you back.

It shows you your limits.

Unrequited love can bring you down. And though it’s hard to know at the time, there’s a valuable lesson hidden underneath your heartache: You’ll never allow yourself to go to that level again.

You’ll understand who you really are.

Depending on how deeply you’ve fallen, you can go to extreme lengths in your pursuit of that unattainable guy.

But losing yourself in someone else isn’t a permanent condition. You’ll emerge with a heightened sense of self-awareness. With your confidence back, you’ll take stock of what’s important to you: your values, morals, likes, dislikes. These are things you won’t soon forget.

Being in love is nothing like unrequited love.

After you’ve reflected on the experience, you’ll understand something incredibly important about love.

Love isn’t an individual act. It can’t happen in a vacuum. True love is a choice, one that can never be forced.

Someone who is in love with you will take care of you when you're sick. He’ll support your dreams and uplift you. He’ll be patient and kind and understanding. You’ll never feel alone when you’re in love because you have your partner in crime.

Life’s too short to spend it hung up on someone else.

Though you may have put the other person on a pedestal, you’ll look back in the not-so-distant future and laugh at how you were attracted to him in the first place.

You didn’t love him at all. It was just an obsession — and that’s not what love is about.

Love should not be torturous. It should not drive you insane. That kind of passion doesn't last.

In the future you’ll instantly recognize when someone loves you.

When another person finally loves you the way you deserve, you’ll spot it from a mile away.

The next time you’re involved with someone, you'll be able to examine it with the wisdom of someone who’s been through the ringer. You’ll simply know what you deserve and refuse to settle for anything less. You're a strong woman. Believe that.

Falling in and out love is all a part of being human. Like love, magic is a drug. CLICK HERE to catch up now on The Magicians and see why millions have been hooked.