The other night, my friend and I were having another deep conversation about those really tough questions of life, when we decided to tackle this one: "At what point do you go from 'we've hooked up' to 'we're hooking up?'" Anyone who's ever been in the hook-up culture in any capacity knows there's a difference.
A person you've "hooked up" with is, for most intents and purposes, irrelevant. But, the person you're hooking up with holds a weird spot in your life. Most relationships I know of these days started as two people just "hooking up."
The person you're hooking up with isn't quite your significant other, but isn't quite a random person, either. The difference is, this person is someone in your life. He or she plays some sort of a role.
So, now we all know what "hooking up" with someone means. But how do you know you've reached that point with the person you're hooked up with? I asked 30 different people, and — you guessed it — I got 30 very different answers.
To this girl, it's three hookups in four weeks.
— Trudy, 23
To this guy, it's all about how much "Game of Thrones" you've watched together.
— Rich*, 23
To this girl, it's a month or more of consistent hookups.
To this guy, it's the girl he's dating.
— Sammy, 23
To this girl, it's all about the frequency of hookups in a short period of time.
— Tina, 23
To this guy, it's when she spends the night.
— Fernando*, 27
To this girl, it's all about the mutual understanding.
— Dylan, 23
To this girl, it's a month of weekly hookups.
— Carly*, 24
To this guy, it's a hard two weeks.
— Bilbo*, 21
To this girl, it's a hard two months.
— Emily*, 20
To this guy, it's the minute the panties drop.
— Richard, “Old enough to know”
To this girl, it's all about the frequency.
— Stacy, 38
To this girl, it's a consistent weekly hookup.
— Kate*, 25
To this girl, it's all about the effort to hang out.
— Sara*, 22
To this girl, it's all about the "implied continuity."
— Anita, 19
To this guy, it's anything over four hookups.
— Mo, 21
To this girl, it's all about the amount of free time spent with each other.
To this girl, it's all about the post-coitus hangout.
— Kate*, 23
So, what's there to take away from this article? There's a very high chance the random guy you've hooked up with a few times actually sees you two as "hooking up." In fact, with all of these different definitions swirling around, odds are, you and the person you've been hooking up with are absolutely not on the same page.