Why We Stay In Unhealthy Relationships Longer Than We Should

by Irina Trenkova

It's that time of year again: cotton candy skies, ice cream dripping down your chin, beaches, summer bonfires and romantic sunsets with your partner.

For many, this time of the year brings about wistful thinking, bouts of utter loneliness and envy of those in relationships. However, even the ones who may seem to have it “all” could be close to falling apart.

Those on the peripheral always believe those in the core are doing so much better, but it's hardly ever true.

We are often jealous of relationships that are manipulative, abusive, cracked and unhealthy.

There are so many people who stay in these types of relationships because they believe their relationships are giving them things they can't find on their own. Instead of leaving these toxic partnerships, they clutch tightly to diluted realities and hope things will get better.

They live in a world of the past, remembering the fond memories without realizing there haven't been many of them. They try to tell themselves it will get better if they just work on it.

But, what happens if they work on it, keep working on it and nothing changes?

If your relationship makes you unhappy more often than it makes you happy, it's not working out.

Stop coming up with excuses to give this person another chance when you have already given him or her too many.

People are too forgiving, forsaking their dignity and pride, as they welcome these people back into their lives. Why? Is it because people are afraid they won't ever find these partnerships again?

Don't let that fear make you settle. It is better to have yourself than to stay in a relationship that brings you down.

If you find yourself upset at your partner over the same things, chances are he or she won't be changing anytime soon.

A healthy relationship will address issues and work through them. Unhealthy relationships will address issues without working through them. Instead, you will allow your issues to fester until you finally explode.

Other times, people stay in damaging relationships because they believe they can salvage them.

The cold, hard truth we never want to hear is that the well of our relationship has run dry. We don't want to be seen as quitters, so we try and try without setting limits or boundaries.

People convince themselves into thinking certain relationships offer them stability, but in all actuality, it is the cause of the chaos and destruction in their lives.

You think because you've spent a year or two with a person, you need to continue the relationship. Even if it was the right thing for you back then, it may not be anymore.

I encourage anyone who finds him or herself in this situation to find the strength to let go. It may be the hardest thing you have to do, but it will also be the best.

Take your life back by the reins and be patient. I promise someone better will come along. You may not think so, but it will happen.

You deserve someone who makes you happy and is willing to spin the world to your liking.

You may be full of despair and see no end to this dark tunnel now, but there is light waiting for you.

Everything you lose is not bound to be a loss.