Ever have a really good one-night stand? You know the kind. The kind that makes you feel like you’ve known this stranger your whole life? The kind that makes you believe in human connection and the power of soul mates? The kind that makes you feel alive and invigorated?
I’m not talking about head-banging, mind-numbing sex -- although, that can certainly be part of it. I'm talking about the kind of closeness that can only come from real connection.
I'm talking about something more intimate than sex. I'm talking about those beautiful moments in the early dawn that make you feel complete.
Maybe you had sex, maybe you just spent the night talking, maybe you did both. Either way it was a night that you know was more than just about f*cking… even if you did a lot of that too.
Because casual sex isn’t always so casual. Sometimes it’s intimate, sometimes it’s more intense than any kind of sex you’ve had in your most serious relationships. Sometimes you just can’t believe how well you connect with someone you’ve only just met and will soon say goodbye to.
For anyone who has ever had the pleasure of experiencing a meaningful one-night stand, you know that while they may be rare, they are always worth it. While they may be fleeting and frowned upon (in some cultures), they are healthier than most relationships that last one too many empty nights.
For anyone who is single, having one-night stands isn’t always an empty replacement for a relationship. For those who’ve experienced the meaningful night, they know that many times those intense, meaningful, powerful one-night stands are more intimate than any relationship.
Because these experiences are about connection. Real, honest human connection. They’re about letting someone into your weird little world for the night and accepting both of you as what you are.
That’s the beauty of a one-night stand. You’re free to be yourself, to unleash your desires and your innermost thoughts because you know you will not see this person again.
You can be as open and vulnerable as you want because there is no pressure. There is no worrying about how you come off or if you are moving too fast. You are experiencing a rare moment, one where you open up to a complete stranger and that, many times, feels as invigorating as the sex itself.
There are no games
The best thing about a one-night stand is the refreshing honesty that comes with it. There is no puzzle to solve or code to unlock. There’s no mind reading or inferring, no delayed responses or double meanings.
It’s a consenting and honest moment when two people finally free themselves from the chains of the dating games and lay it all out on the table. It’s one of the few moments when you can stop pretending to be someone else and show someone who you really are.
You’re completely uninhibited
For one of the few times in your life, you’re not worried about how you’re acting. You don’t care what you say, how you look or if the other person is into you. You’re just enjoying the moment in its most raw and uninhibited form. It might be the first time in a long time you are truly present.
You are aware of where you are and who you are and you’re just happy. You’re happy to be alive and to be sharing things with this one person who plucked you out of obscurity and got to know you. Unlike some of the intense and shallow relationships you took part in, this feels real and honest.
The pressure is off
There’s no pressure to the one-night stand because, unlike many relationships, it knows what it is. There are no questions about what it means or where it stands. There is no need to talk in a certain way, share only certain things and act in a manner you think will keep the other party interested long past the sex.
These meaningful nights are important because they are the few times we connect with our true selves and show others these sides we keep so suppressed and locked away. Letting go of our inhibitions is a large part of growth and these one-night stands are more vital to our maturation and self-esteem than any fake relationship.
The best conversations always happen after 2 am
I’m not sure if it’s the electricity of the moon or the pulse of the stars, but something happens after 2 am that turns our conversations and thoughts into the stuff of poetry and deep philosophical wonderings.
It’s when we get deep, raw and emotional. It's when we go furthest into ourselves and examine the very blood that runs through us. It’s under the safety of night when we no longer worry about what’s real or not in the light of day.
For those who aren’t ready to enter into a committed relationship, the meaningful one-night stand is a healthy way to connect with someone without all the strings attached. For those who just want a night of company, it’s a great way to get to know someone and in turn, open up to someone else.
It’s healthy on a psychological level for those who know how to take it for what it is and enjoy the experience of getting to know someone. Just because this isn't someone who you can call a week later when you're feeling sad or depressed doesn't mean the company wasn't meaningful.
You feel fulfilled after
Unlike many of your relationships that will end up leaving you feeling empty and alone, a meaningful one-night stand leaves you feeling invigorated and alive. You feel fulfilled, even if just for the moment. You go home knowing that you made a connection, one that's deeper than some you have with people you've known for years.
The symbolic nature of a relationship doesn't solidify that kind of intimacy that comes from one of those magical nights. It's the relationships with the wrong people and for the wrong reasons that end up making you feel more used and temporary than any one-night stand could.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It