What Happens When You Realize Timing, Not Your Ex, Broke Your Heart
On the very third day of my freshman year in college, my roommate and I decided to go out to a party.
This night changed my life forever.
On that very night, I met a man who, at the time, I had no idea would be the guy I would later fall hopelessly in love with.
He was technically a second-semester junior, even though it was the first semester of the year.
He would be graduating the next fall.
I became good friends with him from that night on, and after months of hanging out, we began to expand our relationship romantically.
In just a few months, we had found that we had fallen head over heels in love with each other.
Right as the New Year hit, I became his official girlfriend.
We kept in mind the fact he had only two semesters left in college, while I had three and a half years.
But, our love was so overly passionate, we ignored how off our timing was.
He was going on 22, and I was barely about to reach 19.
Our love was undisputed, and it was contagious to everyone around us.
At school, we would spend every waking moment together.
When we went home to separate states for the summer, we switched off making a trip once a week just to be together.
However, right as July was about to strike, our love took a turn for the worse.
In the middle of one brisk June night, a fight over the phone turned into what would be the end of our love story.
I didn’t think the ending was for good.
But as I watched the final month and a half of summer pass by without his love, I realized my heartbreak was there to stay.
At only 19, I was bewildered by the idea someone who told me he was going to marry me could break my heart so effortlessly.
I hated him. I hated him because I loved him, and I couldn’t fathom how he could have ever broken my heart.
For the rest of the summer, I replayed scenes between us in my head as I fell asleep every night.
The sound of his voice still lingered in my ear, and his face was on every picture I scrolled through on my cell phone.
As we got back to school, he approached his final college semester, and I approached my third.
We met again for the first time since our breakup, under the same moonlight we had met a year prior.
We looked at each other with the same eyes.
We were still in love, and under the dark August sky, we began to love again.
Our love, though, was forbidden.
We tried to reassemble our relationship throughout the semester, but we failed every time.
It wasn’t until he established the end of our relationship for good that I realized my heartbreak was not my ex's fault.
It was because of timing.
He was 22, and I was 19.
He had lived through experiences I had yet to discover.
The man I thought was my soulmate did not break my heart. Timing did.
It’s easy to blame the other person in the relationship for your struggle and disappointment, but it takes true perspective to realize that love doesn’t always work.
It's not because there isn't love between two people. It's because timing won’t allow it.
Once I realized timing was the true reason for my broken heart, I began to realize the truth about love.
Love really is patient and kind.
But sometimes, love breaks your heart and soul in order to better you for the love you’re meant for.
It might not be true that my college boyfriend and I aren’t meant to be.
But at the time, we couldn't be together.
Life had other things in store for us. I needed to embrace that, rather than question it.
Heartbreak is overwhelming, and it makes you question everything you know about love and life.
But sometimes, the answer is simple.
Sometimes, the answer is the timing is wrong.
In this case, it's best to let go.
As difficult as letting go might be, there is no other option when it comes to forbidden love.
Maybe in some other lifetime or somewhere down the road, our two souls will meet again and intertwine.
Maybe then, love will conquer all.
But in the meantime, there is a lot of life to be lived.