The Strongest Couples Don't Need A Timeline To Tell Them They're In Love

by Lauren Martin

Relationships are like soufflés: when you try and time them, they never work out. Like cooking, it’s all about intuition and personal preference.

It’s easy to judge. It’s easy to sit back, look at couples and doom them to fail. It’s easy to say moving in after four months is a recipe for disaster and marriage after a year is asking for failure.

But what about those couples who do wait? The ones who waited five years to move in and 10 to get married?

You don’t judge them for rushing, but when they get divorced, what are you judging them for then? They waited too long?

We have a habit of trying to make patterns out of failures and rules out of love. We like to put guidelines and stigmas on couples, creating extra stress and weight to the already very delicate balance of relationships.

But why? Where are these rules coming from? What examples are we looking at? Because if we’re looking at the couples before us (our parents), their 52-percent divorce rate should not be something to take notes from.

We spend our lives looking for love. Singing about it, dreaming of it and praying for it. So once you've found it, why waste anymore time? Why waste another minute, another second, another day denying yourself it?

Jump into it, drown in it, immerse yourself in the warm pool of it. Don't let anyone tell you you're spending too much time in it because isn't that the end goal of it all?

If I’ve learned anything about falling in love, it’s that there is no timeline to it. Once you've found it, don't let it go. Life's too short to waste another second refusing it.

There’s neither a set course nor allotment of years that makes it right. There’s no perfect timing nor rushed event. All there is is a feeling. That gut feeling you either ignore or you follow.

Because it’s your life, not theirs

Who cares what you do in your own relationship? Who cares if you’re going to move in together or get married?

Who cares if you’re engaged, or you’re still just “hook-up buddies” after two years. It’s your life and your relationship, and anyone who’s judging it clearly needs to get his or her own.

Because every couple has its own timing

Some wait years to fall in love; others find it in a moment. How can you time relationships if you can't time love?

No one knows when it's going to hit, and when it does, what's the point of trying to twist it and mold it into some time frame that has no set dimensions?

Because life’s too short to keep looking at the clock

If the news isn't enough to remind you life is fleeting, then your love should be.

We have limited time here, and suppressing the one thing that makes you happy is just wasting it.

If you want to spend every day with the person you love, spend every day with him or her. Don't give up a single day for one singular opinion.

Because no one understands your relationship like you understand it

No relationship is the same, and people who think they've had what you have are as delusional as those who think a specific timeline will save their relationship.

Love is unique in every capacity, and what works for you will never work for others. The only voice to follow is the one inside your own head.

Because the only person you have to please is yourself

Last I checked, there are only two people in every relationship. Your relationship is for you, and so are your decisions.

No one else is making a home with you or eating next to you every night. No one else is planning a future with you, and no one else should have an opinion about it.

Because if you make a mistake, you’re still young

There's no shame in making a mistake. There's no right or wrong way to live, just trials and errors.

People live together with friends for less than a year before realizing it's not working out.

So big deal if you move in with someone, and it doesn't work out; It happens every day to people in relationships a lot less fulfilling.

Because stopping it could be just as derailing as speeding it up

Stomping on the breaks hurts a car as much as constant acceleration.

The best way to treat your relationship is to keep it moving at an even pace, letting it glide effortlessly along.

Constantly analyzing it and changing its speed causes internal damage that's going to cost a lot to fix later.

Because love is as abstract as time

What is time? What is love? Both are concepts we think we've grasped, yet the scope of either is too large for anyone to truly understand.

You can't fit love into a time frame any more than you can fit space into a box – it's too expansive. All you can do is let your love take you where it needs to go and enjoy the ride.