Nothing is more exhilarating than meeting a new crush.
You're having a totally normal night at your friend's party when the guy from across the room comes over to chat you up. You find out, shockingly, you have quite a bit in common.
After you exchange numbers, you reside in the warm habitat of possibility. He hasn't screwed anything up yet or burst your expectations.
Your ignorance to what your future with him may hold is bliss.
Once he finally texts a few days later, you're stoked. You told your friends you didn't expect to hear from him again after your short makeout sesh, but, obviously, you were lying.
You start thinking about all of the speakeasies you've been to in the past few months and mentally cataloged for first dates. Then, he drops a bomb you should have seen coming: “How about we stay in and watch a movie?”
He essentially just asked you to "Netflix and chill." Cue the whirlwind of thoughts that start circling through your mind.
1. A night in? He totally gets me. That's exactly what I want to do.
2. I didn't feel like getting dressed up and going out anyway.
3. What movie should we watch? What movie sets the tone for a first date?
4. It cannot be a sad movie. I can't cry in front of him. I just can't.
5. It can't be too funny, either. My laugh-snort is NOT hot.
6. Maybe we should binge-watch a TV show.
7. But if we binge-watch, how long will this date last?
8. I definitely need an out. I'll ask a friend to be on-call with a fake emergency.
9. But I'm not going to need to call her because this is my ideal date. Like, he could be my soul mate.
10. What if he's my soul mate?
11. If he is my soul mate, we need to watch something classy so our future grandchildren can be proud of us.
12. Hold on. The last guy who did this tried to get me to sleep with him. Is that what this guy is doing?
13. Ugh, he's totally pulling a Netflix and chill, isn't he? This is a booty call.
14. He should have asked me to dinner. Don't I deserve dinner?
15. When I met him at the party, was I giving off a one-and-done vibe?
16. I knew I shouldn't have made out with him.
17. But if I end up liking him, we will hook up eventually anyway.
18. He might not respect me if we hook up on a first date.
19. What if I end up genuinely liking him and then he never talks to me again?
20. I would hate him if he ghosted me.
21. It's not like I don't want to hook up with him, though. We can just keep it casual.
22. It's totally okay to do this. I don't even know for sure he's only interested in a hookup.
23. I'm going to screen-shot this text message and send it to my girlfriends. They'll know what to do.
24. Okay, they agree. I should go and feel it out. I'm telling him I'm down.
25. I guess we're going to do it at his place.
26. Correction: We're NOT going to “do it.”
27. Should I suggest hanging at my place so I can control the situation?
28. My roommates are gonna make it weird if we're here, though.
29. Are we hanging in his living room?
30. His roommates might make it weird.
31. We can always go into his bedroom.
32. Then it's really going to seem like a booty call.
33. Maybe I shouldn't shave my legs, then I won't let it go too far.
34. I should definitely shave my legs. It's a jungle down there.
35. But I will not get a wax.
36. If we order in, I'll know he's into more than a hookup.
37. Should I ask him if we're going to have food?
38. That would not be chill. I'll just eat beforehand.
39. But I'm not going to eat too much because I can't use his bathroom. And, God forbid, gas.
40. Better yet, I'll bring a snack. A snack and alcohol.
41. I wonder if he likes wine. Maybe he's more of a beer guy? Beer guys are so cute.
42. I can't drink too much. I'm a sloppy drunk.
43. But I'm really cute when I'm tipsy. I'm definitely going to get tipsy.
44. What am I going to wear?
45. I'm not going to wear a dress, or stretchy clothes.
46. I'll wear jeans and a cute top. But not too cute. We are staying in, after all.
47. Ugh, he should have taken me to dinner. Then I could have worn my top with the lace. That would have been perfect.
48. This is going to be so fun. It's going to be great. As long as we don't use my Netflix account; he can't see my recently watched list.
49. I wonder if he put this much thought into his suggestion.
50. He definitely didn't.
51. I'm going to die alone.