Relationships

7 Thoughts We All Have After A Few Dates With Someone New

by Zoya Gervis
Lumina

When we meet someone new and feel a connection, there are a variety of thoughts that cross our minds. We're excited, we're nervous and our heads are all over the place.

But if someone brought those good butterflies to your tummy, here are seven of the crazy thoughts we grapple with:

"Crap. How did I start liking this person?"

How did one coffee date turn into me having feelings for someone who was a complete stranger to me two weeks ago? Somehow, going on three dates is enough time to determine whether or not they're a keeper.

"Do they even like me?"

When we spend so much time deciphering our feelings about this other person, we can forget to take their feelings into account. You begin reminding yourself that they haven't exactly expressed mutual interest just yet.

Maybe they mentioned how cute you looked the other night. Is that the same thing? Then, you remember the magical kiss you shared together that first night and all the other kisses that ended up being just as magical. Yeah, they probably like you.

"Would they get along with my friends?"

Friends play a huge role in who we date. We need to make sure that everyone gets along, so it's not weird when you throw a Super Bowl party and invite both sets of friends.

They don't have to be best friends or anything, but they should be able to get along with your crew.

"Is it too soon to take a picture together?"

After being single for so long (four years, to be exact), I've seen my Facebook newsfeed littered with couple photos. And if I'm being totally honest, I want my own couple photo to share.

How do I bring this up to my new guy, though? How would I justify taking my phone out and snapping a picture together? What would I say? "Oh, hey, look over here. I need to take a picture, so I can prove to everyone that I'm no longer single or antisocial"?

"Oh, man, I feel safe."

As someone who keeps her heart guarded at all times, it takes a certain special someone for me to open up.

When I'm able to move past the physical attraction of someone and begin learning about their values, ambitions and likes and dislikes, my layers gradually get peeled back. I allow myself to become vulnerable.

I let this new person see sides of me that I hide from the outside world.

When you're able to be vulnerable with someone new, slightly over-eager thoughts inevitably cloud your mind. How does my name sound with theirs? Why aren't they texting me back? Did I say something stupid?

As things get more serious, though, you'll start to feel a little more comfortable.

"Do they think it's getting serious?"

Is it all in our heads or is this real life? Will this end in flames or is there some actual potential for love? Do I really want to put my heart out on the line?

Yes. The answer is always yes. If you never try, you'll never learn. People come in and out of our lives all the time. Regardless of whether or not they stay in our lives, they teach us valuable lessons.

Every relationship is its own teacher, so dive in, head first, to the land of potential.

"Text or Snapchat?"

These days, it's hard to keep track of all the various social media avenues out there.

If he texts you about plans, can you respond with a sexy snap of yourself? If he sends you a snap of himself, do you have to send one back? Honestly, it really doesn't matter.

If you two are into each other, it won't matter if you responded to his text via Snapchat or vice versa. It's likely the uncertainty we feel is the result of our own minds playing dirty tricks on us.

When you finally feel comfortable enough to send that makeup-free selfie, or even see them in person without any makeup on, you'll know it's getting real.

As it turns out, dating is exhausting, but the only way to find love is to keep doing it. Get ready for all the feels.