Becoming obsessed with a crush or a guy you're seeing happens. You wonder when they're gonna text you, when you'll see them next, or when they're going to like that picture you just put up on Instagram.
Is this the right way to live your life? Of course not. You're an intelligent, busy woman with your own interests, hobbies, friends, and family. But when you're dating, it's easy to fall victim to a little fantasizing... or a lot of it.
However, it becomes a problem when the attention or inattention of your crush starts to run and ruin your world. Your self-worth and happiness shouldn't be determined by whether or not a guy is asking you out or texting you back.
Sis, you're better than that!!
So here are some things to remind yourself when the guy you like isn't giving you the attention you deserve or isn't texting you back when he should.
1. He Doesn't Determine Your Worth
If you're defining your worth and happiness by the attention a guy is giving you, then maybe it's time to give your ego a look in the mirror.
Is a man the only good thing about you?
If you're hard pressed to find things that make you feel worthy, then it's time to make yourself feel useful.
Do something to give back, like volunteering, charity work, picking up litter on the street, tutoring, or helping someone in need. Come early to a party and help set up, and stay late to help clean up. Give a friend advice, or do something as small as letting people in front of you in traffic.
Putting kindness out into the world will help you get out of your own head and help you to realize there's a lot more to you than men finding you attractive. Because I promise you, there is.
2. You Have Hobbies That Aren't Men
If your only hobby is waiting for guys to call, then, girl, get yourself some new hobbies.
It's time to remind yourself of what you like doing, so make a list of your interests. Do you like seeing movies alone? Painting? Going to museums? Visiting the local park or garden? Hiking?
Figure out what you're into, and then, have a "me" day where you remind yourself that you are perfectly happy and busy without a man. Dive into your career! Read a book! Learn a new language!
What are you doing waiting on that dork to text you?!
Not only will it make the time go faster while you're waiting for that guy to call (though, you should never wait around for a guy to contact you), but it will also remind you that you're a whole, complete person without the company of any man.
A man is an addition to your life, he isn't your entire life.
3. He Won't Save You
Believe me, I have been in relationship after relationship, hoping a man would fix whatever was going wrong in my life. When I was bored, I hoped a guy would make me un-bored. When I was depressed, I hoped a guy would make me happy. When I felt ugly, I thought dating could make me feel good about myself.
But happiness comes from within. Learning this and living by this takes a lot of self-work, but once you figure out how to find contentment within yourself, you'll always have it.
So don't be bummed when that guy isn't calling or texting, because the truth of the matter is, he's not going to fix you. He might make you feel good for a short period of time, like a drug, but ultimately, you're going to come down from his high.
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that he's not texting you back, and a sign that you're supposed to be spending some quality time working on yourself.
4. Being Single Is OK
Being single is more than OK — it's great.
Being in a relationship doesn't define you. It's no better and no worse than being single. You're still going to have all the same problems you had before, if not more when you're in a relationship, because now, you'll have a boyfriend to deal with, too.
So if you're getting swept up in the idea of forcing a relationship with someone who potentially might not be interested, then remind yourself that being single isn't all that bad.
You don't have to answer to anyone, there are no arguments about what restaurants you want to go to, and there are no scary in-laws you have to meet. You can pee with the door open and eat rotisserie chicken right next to the kitchen sink! Or even in your bed!
Being single rules!
So next time you're waiting for that guy to hit you up, remember, you're better than that. Happiness comes from within, not from him. (Did I just think of that line, and can I trademark it?)
You don't want life to pass you by because you were sitting by your phone, hoping Joe Bumble would text you saying "u up?"
Read a book. Focus on your career. Take a trip with your friends, or learn a new language. A guy is most likely to be interested in you when you're living your own life to the fullest, anyway.