You're MINE: 6 Things People Say While In Love That Are Really Creepy Out Of Context

by Cashie Rohaly

When in love, in lust, or anything in-between, it is so easy to be a little dysfunctional. You can’t eat; you can’t sleep. All you want to do is have great sex and pillow talk when you’re together.

When you’re together, it is like the rest of the world no longer exists. In no way am I saying this is a bad thing. If you are in love, then mazel tov to you.

They say that love is blind, right? Well, it must also be deaf because people who are in love tend to say the wackiest things to each other.

“I’ll never let go.”

What you think if you’re in love:

It’s the most romantic sentence in the world. You are like Leo DiCaprio, and I am like Kate Winslet and our life is like "Titanic," except hopefully you don’t freeze to death. Kiss me!

What you think if you’re not: 

Oh, really, you’ll never let go? What if I have to pee? Will you let go then? No? Can I at least grab some Chex Mix, since, according to you, I’m gonna be here for a while?

No? Oh, right. I can’t because you are literally never going to let go of me. I am stuck on this couch forever because according to you, you are never going to release me from your embrace. I am concerned that this is being said literally, which makes me wonder if you are a captor.

“You are the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep.”

What you think when you’re in love:

My heart is melting and my panties are dropping. You think of me 24/7? You must be in love with me. Ugh, you’re so perfect. Let’s go make love on the kitchen counter!

What you think when you’re not:

Okay, only two kinds of people in this world utter that sentence: people who are in love and stalkers. That being said, I am going to go straight to the police station and file a restraining order.

Great, now I am going to be constantly paranoid when I walk home at night. Looks like I’m never stepping out of my house after the sun sets. There goes my social life. You suck.

“I still have your scent on my skin.”

What You Think When You’re In Love:

Aw, that’s so sweet! Now it’s like I’m always with you, even when we’re apart. I hate when we’re apart, but having your scent on my skin is like wearing an invisible t-shirt of yours, and baby, it is so comfortable.

What You Think When You’re Not:

I’m sorry, is that something you made up or is that a direct line from "Silence of the Lambs"? I’m pretty sure that is said somewhere in the film by Buffalo Bill. Plus, saying “my scent” makes me feel like you are a dog and I’m the fire hydrant you just peed on.

Nice scent-iment, but please, go take a shower and clean it away immediately.

“Baby/Sugar/Sweetie/Honey/any other pet name”

What You Think When You’re In Love:

Oh my god, I love when you call me that name! It’s so cute, and it shows that you are not afraid to get in touch with your more sensitive side when you use sweet names like that.

What You Think When You’re Not:

I would like to point out to you that I am not a baby. Granted, I will usually stop crying when someone gives me a bottle of Moscato, but that is different.

Want to sweet talk me and make me not want to puke? Instead of calling me “cutie pie,” how about you just tell me that you ordered a pizza? That will show me that you really care, and then maybe I will like you more.

“Let’s make love.”

What You Think When You’re In Love:

Yes, I want to have this emotional and passionate connection with you. The physical activity of it will be so meaningful because it’ll be just you and me as one entity.

What You Think When You’re Not:

Can’t we just call it what it is, sex? Let’s cut the romance-novel bullsh*t and just get this over with. I have spinning class in an hour and I don’t want to be too sore.

“A moment without you is a moment wasted.”

What You Think When You’re In Love:

I feel the exact same way about you! It’s like what is the point of living life if I am not living every second of it with you? Let’s get handcuffs and throw the key into the ocean so that way we can never, ever be apart.

When You’re Not:

Well, that is kind of pathetic. Don’t you enjoy some good alone time? I know I love my alone time. I mean, when I am not with you, I take baths, read, watch trashy television…

Is your life so empty that the only way you feel the void has been filled is if you are spending time with me? I think what I’m trying to say is that you should see a therapist.

Love makes us do and say outrageous things. Just be sure that you don't make a third party overhear your love language, or else, said party might think you are a psycho stalker.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr