20 Things You B*tch To Your Friends About When You Fight With Your BF
When it comes to fighting with significant others, we can really thank Steve Jobs for making our lives that much easier.
I mean, how else are we supposed to send our best friend an entire text fight? Can you imagine reciting that sh*t over the phone?
Will she even still be listening to you by the time you reach your fourth exchange? Absolutely not -- so shout out to screenshots!
Who communicates verbally anymore anyway? This is ideal because she can read the entirely of every fight in all its glory, rash comments and regrettable ultimatums.
She will tell you, hopefully, where you went wrong and support you when she knows you need it.
But let's be honest for a moment, shall we? We know we all just want to hear how right we were in the situation, regardless of the fact that we were probably wrong to begin with.
So there we are, scarfing down yet another spoonful of peanut butter while simultaneously firing off back-to-back text messages. Pretty picture? Nope, but it's sadly accurate.
So what are the things you really bitch about to your best friend while fighting with your SO?
1. That you've eaten all the food in your refrigerator, plus your roommates'.
While some people can't even think about eating during a fight, that is definitely not the case when it comes to you.
In fact, you can't stop eating to the point where you've inhaled every pre-made lunch you've prepped for this week, along with your roommates' food.
2. That there's no way in hell you're downloading Tinder.
Because this is obviously where you head goes first... to the dark depths of online dating.
You can't fathom even downloading the app, let alone using it, which makes you just regret your fight altogether.
3. That this fight is definitely the LAST fight.
You swear this fight is that fight -- you know, the one to end all fights and reclaim your independence.
Too bad we all know you'll be back snuggling in 24 hours.
4. That you're now going to die alone.
Obviously we always think of worst-case scenarios. After investing so much time into one person, you can't even imagine doing that again
5. That you need to decide whether or not to return that $90 lingerie you just bought.
We'll tell ourselves we're supposed to dress up for ourselves, not others, but we all know this is a blatant fabrication.
Well, at least on the bright side, you just saved yourself close to $100.
6. The fact that you haven't had a good night's sleep for six months.
You've given up your precious REM cycle just so you can sleep "peacefully" next to your SO every night of the week. I bet you're regretting that decision now...
7. The fact that you don't know whether or not you can get ahead on that Netflix show you're watching together.
So, we promised we'd watch the newest season of "Orange Is The New Black" together, but now we aren't speaking.
Does that mean I can go ahead without him? It is his Netflix account, but I guess that just sounds like his problem, right?
8. The fact that you have no storage left on your phone because of these screenshots.
You may not be talking to your now "ex," but your entire phone battery and storage is still devoted to him.
This is utter bullsh*t, but you know you can't stop the screenshots now.
9. The sad realization that you're eating dinner solo from here on out.
Dinner used to be fun -- a shared meal with your boyfriend you most likely didn't pay for.
But now you realize you're going to be stuck "cooking" for yourself. Thank God for delivery.
10. How no one is going to talk to you during the hours of 8 pm and 1 am.
Well, things just got all too real because there is only one person you're chatting it up with all night long.
I guess maybe it's time to start reconnecting with people, ugh.
11. The fact that you're actually mad your battery is lasting all day.
You used to get pissed off when your battery would constantly die all day long, but now you're mad for the opposite reason.
12. The fact that you have to decide whether or not this means you actually have to go out now.
I guess it's time to re-enter the social world, something we all know you despise.
If this isn't reason enough to throw up the white flag, then I really don't know what is.
13. The fact that you hope he doesn't think you're returning any of his clothes.
It's not as if you can just walk into a store and buy an XL sweatshirt, it's just not the same.
14. The fact that you have to un-RSVP to this wedding.
You were so pumped up to get a plus-one to a wedding that is months away; now you're stuck dreading it.
15. The fact that you already bought those vacation tickets.
Hm, hopefully the travel company lets you do a change of guest name.
16. The fact that all he has to do is apologize!
You don't even know who is wrong at this point, and honestly, you don't really care.
All your "ex" has to do at this point is apologize, and all will be right in the world.
17. The fact that you have to de-tag all of these pictures.
But I look so good in all of them...
18. The fact that you have to decide WTF your profile picture is supposed to be now.
Changing your profile picture is the 2015 way of signifying your breakup. Wow, what a sad world we live in.
19. The fact that you can't stop eating.
You can't even tell if you love this part or hate it since it's serving as a great justification to eat all of the foods you've been trying to avoid.
20. The fact that you think picking up your one missing sock is an adequate excuse to text him first.
Probably not, but we all know you're going to do it anyway.