Relationships

There's Nothing Wrong With Meeting The Love Of Your Life On Tinder

by Dan Scotti
Stocksy

Without Tinder to meet people, what else would you suggest we do? Ignore dating apps -- and technology in general -- despite their existence, and solely strive for romantic situations resembling second-rate romantic comedies from the '60s?

Times have changed, and who’s to say one generation’s model of flirtation is superior to the next? At the end of the day, humans, as a species, will always gravitate toward what’s available to them – toward what’s convenient.

The brutal truth is what worked for our parents probably wouldn’t work for us. I mean, anyone who was forced to watch “West Side Story” at some point in life could probably attest to that.

While back in our parents’ day, there might’ve been “dancing gangs” miraculously existing as the center of female attention, a la "West Side Story," the fact of the matter is I haven’t danced since my last bar mitzvah, and it’s surely never gotten me laid (although, I probably thought I could’ve bagged one of those professionally paid dancers, if you asked me at the time).

Realistically, for our generation, it’s never had to be that difficult. We've never had to dance, never had to take women out on “first dates” – hell, a lot of times we barely even had to meet these women in person.

By the time we entered college, and the minor leagues of the dating world, Facebook was already relevant enough to garner film rights – and that was to the benefit of every dude with a slight confidence problem.

By the time a lot of us graduated from college and prepared ourselves for the major leagues of post-grad dating, social media sites were again waiting for us with their arms outstretched –this time assuming the form of Tinder.

Who exactly would young people be spiting in the end by failing to utilize these platforms, aside from themselves?

Stop treating Tinder as if it’s the lack of some chivalric code or something. It’s not the product of a lack of gentlemen, or modest women; in fact, it’s not a lack of anything at all. It’s simply evidence of a new dimension of dating -- one we should probably stop treating as such a taboo.

Get over it, people. You use your phone’s GPS to get you places, Seamless to get you food and the New York Times app to get your news – yet you’re above one these applications that might, potentially, get you laid?

Like anything else social-media related, Tinder is a platform. Tinder, itself, can’t really be creepy. Sure, you might encounter some creepy people ON Tinder, but it's through no fault of Tinder on its own – it's an issue specific to our society. So don’t blame the platform.

A lot of times, we’ll let a few bad eggs spoil the carton without allowing ourselves to see the bigger picture, specifically with regard to social media. Think of Twitter.

After perusing through Amanda Bynes' timeline, you might think Twitter is the biggest waste of 140 characters and time alike. Having said that, and familiarizing yourself with the deeper nature of the Arab Spring, however, you might take a step back from your initial sentiment.

Do you see what I’m saying?

Tinder isn’t creepy -- people are creepy. It’s not like there wouldn’t be any creepy people at that dive bar you might view as a more wholesome alternative. Like most digital applications, Tinder (by nature) was just designed to make the process easier for you.

Now, instead of having to sit through an awkward introduction with someone you might not be feeling in person, full of pity laughs and empty gestures, you can just swipe left.

Personally, I feel like Tinder is a nice complement to your real-world dating, but should not become a source of dependancy. When you devote too much thought to Tinder, it'll only be a matter of time before you start devoting less and less time to your face-to-face interactions.

To avoid this dependency, try not to put Tinder on the pedestal. It really isn’t that big of a deal. There’s no reason to broadcast you’ve met people on Tinder as if they’re any inferior to people you might’ve met in person.

It doesn’t make them, or your relationship, any less “real.” Like I mentioned earlier, Tinder is just a platform, the rest is up to the people. If you choose to make it seem “creepy,” it’ll seem creepy.

If you choose, however, to handle your personal matters on Tinder in a respectful, mature fashion, then they'll always demand the same manner in return.