There Is No Mr. Right


Every woman has a list that goes something like this: tall, blonde, handsome, kind, big penis and loves to eat pussy. This unrealistic list describes her dream man – the one that she made when she was 15 and has used to compare every guy that she meets.

Here’s the thing ladies – your dream man? Your Mr. Right? He doesn’t exist. Look – I don’t blame you for having these unrealistic expectations – years of fairytales where the princess always ends up being rescued by her knight in shining armor, countless romantic comedies about how against all odds, your prince will always find you, and let’s not even mention anything by Nicholas Sparks. I mean, you can’t help but end up with these unrealistic ideals of how your love life should be!

In these fairytales, it seems like everyone who is nice and acts a certain way will inevitably get their happily ever after – with no mention of break ups, awkward mornings after -- and no one accidentally f*cks their boss.

Once you hit the real world and realize that the men you meet and date aren’t perfect, and at times only possess two properties out of your endless list, you end up being disillusioned and disappointed. Your search for your perfect guy seem endless; you get so jaded and think that you’re never going to find him – and guess what? You’re right!

Well, you got to jump right back on the horse, love, because realistically, the only way to understand what kind of person you need to be in a relationship with is through dating a lot of different types of men. What is the best way to learn? It’s to make mistakes! How are you going to know if you aren’t the mistress type unless you give it a shot?

That guy who has hairy back? Hey – it gives you something to hold onto when he’s pounding you, and it’s kinda like sleeping with a bear. Who doesn’t want to snuggle with a bear?! The more we expect our lives to reflect these fairytales, the less we are able to see what our dating experiences are teaching us.

We’re conditioned to find our “big love” and it keeps getting thrown in our faces that “The One” is out there – so we walk away from uninspiring relationships that might have made us happy.

This idea of finding the perfect “soul mate” makes women think that by some magical force of nature, there is one perfect person out there for everyone. But really, maybe there is no soul mate because there is no perfect person for anybody.

Even if you do consider them perfect now, will they be perfect in five or 10 years time? People’s ideas on what they want in a relationship change over time. When you’re younger, you tend to focus on the physical aspects of a man – remember in high school and college when everyone wanted the hot guy? I mean, no one ever was like – oh, look at that average looking guy in accounting.

Well, he looks like he’ll have a stable career as an accountant, and job stability is important to me, so he’s obviously my soul mate. As you get older, your priorities change and you look for emotional and mental compatibility because the physical stuff fades – looks fade. After a while, you don’t even notice what they look like anymore.

So, even if you think that – oh, sure he doesn’t have a job or can’t tell time, but f*ck he’s good looking, I can ignore all the other stuff – you can’t ignore it forever.

If you’re holding out for true love, don’t wait for too long or else you might just find yourself a 60-year-old single woman in an apartment filled with cats and kitty litter.

The Trophy Wife | Elite.