My boyfriend has been talking about moving in together since I signed my current lease in Brooklyn. Come September, he's ready to make this happen.
For all intents and purposes, we basically live together. I spend three to four nights a week at his apartment. I make dinner, he gives me back massages and we listen to podcasts and read. It's very sweet, comfortable and nice.
He doesn't play games; he's extremely genuine and says what he wants. And he wants to live with me and spend his life with me.
I am very lucky to have found such a lovely man. I'm completely aware of this. And I love him. I really, really love him. So moving in together would be the logical next step in our relationship, right?
While this would seem like the natural progression, I'm nervous about it. I've been on my own for a very long time. I love my independence and my space. I thrive when I'm alone.
I think there are a lot of you out there who can relate to this. Moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a big step. There are definite struggles and hesitations involved. We need to talk about them. They're nothing to be ashamed of.
Here are 11 struggles of being ALMOST, but not quite, ready to live with your SO.
1. You love spending time together, but you love having your own space.
Having your own space for your own things is wonderful. You worry that once you move in, you won't have all that amazing closet and drawer space that you're accustomed to.
You'd have to skim down your closet just because you're shacking up.
2. You adore his apartment, but it's too small for two people.
His studio is great for sleepovers and long weekends, but it is going to be f*cking cramped when you bring all of your sh*t over there. It's an amazing space for one, but two people would make it feel like a clown car.
The thing to do would be to find a bigger place. But that would mean TWO EXPENSIVE AF moves. Ugh.
3. You love his neighborhood, but you're attached to your own.
His neighborhood is totally cute, and you could see yourself moving there. But leaving your neighborhood feels disloyal.
I live in Brooklyn and am in love with my neighborhood. If I move to the East Village, will I ever come back to Brooklyn again? Probably not.
4. You want to live together, but you don't want to sign another lease.
Moving in together means a new lease in a new place. Or worse, he's on the lease, and you're not.
It's nerve-wracking because you're going into this living situation without a safety blanket. If something happens, would you move out and find somewhere else to live? Would he leave your things out on the street?
5. You'd like to bring all your things to his place, but you don't want to pay for another move.
Moving costs a sh*tload of money. It's easily $500 - $1,000 to have movers come and take your sh*t from one place to another. Not to mention all of that time you'll spend packing. It blows.
6. You love your boo, but you hate how messy he is.
You don't know what messy is until you go into the apartment of a straight man who lives alone.
There are crusty dishes everywhere, clothes all over the ground and sheets that only ever get changed when you're around. If you're a neat person, this is a deal breaker.
7. You want to share your life, but you love your routine.
Giving up your routine is extremely hard, but it's inevitable when you move in with your SO.
If you're used to coming home, kicking back and watching your shows, you'll have to find shows you both like. What do you do if you want a TV, but your SO doesn't want to pay for one? Am I projecting? Maybe.
8. You hate fighting, but you love having a place to run away to when you need space.
Fighting sucks, but in a one-bedroom -- or worse, a studio -- where do you go after a blow-up?
If you live with your boyfriend, there is nowhere to go to cool off. I once banished my boyfriend to the couch after a fight, but his couch is across from the bed. He didn't really go anywhere, and I didn't get less mad.
9. You want to split the rent for a one-bedroom, but you like having your own bedroom.
As an independent woman, you like having your space. In your own room, you get to decorate how you want, shut people out anytime you feel like it and do whatever you want.
When you live with someone, your room is no longer just YOUR room. Your needs and wants are no longer the only to consider.
10. You enjoy going to sleep together, but his bed ain't sh*t compared to your bed.
Waking up with back pain when you have sleepovers with your boo thang makes for cranky days. You like going home because your bed is a slice of heaven. It is like sleeping in a giant, warm hug made just for you.
If you're moving in, his sh*tty bed is going in the dumpster. I hope he knows that.
11. You know this is the next step, but you're just not sure you're ready yet.
I guess what it really comes down to is being ready. If you know that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to make that jump. It's the logical next step.
Just be sure that you voice all of your concerns and only go into a living situation that makes you happy and comfortable. In the end, if you love your SO and you're in a healthy, stable relationship, living together should be a smooth transition.
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