Yasir Nisar

I Was 'The Other Woman,' But I Didn't Find Out Until A Year Later

By

As every story starts, there was a guy. We never really dated, and our "relationship" never really got that serious because of distance and trust issues. But after a year, we were finally about to give it a shot.

I was scared because he had hurt me too many times to count in the past, but this time seemed different. He was constantly there for me, and he wanted to label the relationship. But, there was something I couldn't let go of: his past.

There was this one girl, an ex whom I had heard about numerous times. She was “crazy” and a “stalker,” and she was supposedly threatening her own life just to keep him around.

To me, those were some pretty serious accusations. Who was I to doubt him and what this girl was or wasn't going to risk to have him back? Was it really that wrong of me to want to believe he could have been telling the truth?

And so, it began. Each day started with a “Good morning, beautiful!” text and endless conversation. He would come over, and we'd start planning for future dates, when his ex would finally let go and move on.

But then, my nerves got the best of me. Something wasn't adding up, and I wasn't sure what it was. So, I did some research, and what I found killed me.

I found her Instagram, which was filled with pictures of the two of them. They were in a relationship, and these weren't old photos she was posting. They were from recent events, and he was even wearing the same outfit he had worn with me the previous week.

The truth was there. He had been lying for who knows how long. Every time I confronted him or begged him to just admit the truth, her never did. But there it was, and I had to face it.

I had to face the fact I had been turned into something I never thought I would become. Without my knowledge or consent, I was "the other woman." I was the side chick. I was the one doing something wrong.

I felt sick, hurt and jealous all at once. This was supposed to be my turn for happiness, when in reality, I was playing a role in destroying hers.

What was I to do? I wanted to either cut him off completely or put him on blast. But in the end, what good was that really going to do? He was still going to get away with it, and she was never going to know.

So, I did something I never imagined I would do. I messaged her on Facebook.

I asked if she was dating him, and that if she was, she had the right to know what he was really doing behind her back. I explained I had no idea about her.

She asked for proof and how recently we had been together. I told her anything and everything she wanted to know.

It turns out she knew about me and was upset I hadn't come clean earlier. But the truth was, I never really knew.

Him and I had been on and off so many times that we weren't connected on social media. The few times we had been, there was no trace of her. He did everything in his power to hide her from me

She confronted him, and I did as well once she had told him what I did. But, he was still lying to us both. He never admitted to cheating on her, and he never came clean about being in a relationship to me.

I'm still hurt and wish I could just pretend this never happened and move on. But, the facts are out in the open now. He still won't own up to his actions, but I don't want to be a part of his lies anymore. I've finally let him go, and I now know what I deserve in my next relationship.