I Don't Want 'The One,' I Want The One Who Teaches Me The Most

by Alexia LaFata

I've always loved school. I've loved school since the day I started back when I was a tiny, 3-year-old preschooler who carried her little Barbie lunchbox to her cubbie and retrieved her coloring books, crayons and wooden blocks covered with numbers and mathematical symbols.

I loved buying new school supplies, getting assigned new lockers and wearing new first-day-of-school outfits.

I loved the long hallways, the extracurricular activities and the fact that I could hang out with my friends in class.

Going to school and being a student was a huge part of my identity for the vast majority of my life, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

No matter how much I loved school, though, I hated when I felt like I wasn't actually learning anything.

I hated hearing teachers lecture about things I'd already learned in the grades before. I hated when subjects were too easy or when I felt like I wasn't being challenged enough.

I hated rotting away in classrooms and counting down the hours until the class period ended because of how bored I was and how tedious everything felt.

Don't get me wrong: I still loved school itself. But my love for school grew exponentially whenever I felt like I was really, truly learning something new.

Whenever a teacher disputed a perspective I'd had forever or forced me to think of a subject in a new light or made me question my intelligence enough to work really hard at improving, I found myself loving school more than I already had.

I found myself rising to the occasion and striving to make myself better, which ultimately has made me a more well-rounded, open-minded, intellectually curious individual.

The day I graduated from college, the day I would no longer be able to identify as a student in the pursuit of learning, was one of the worst days of my life.

Now, I have to figure out how to learn in other ways -- like through my relationships.

When it comes to relationships, I'm not just looking for someone who's sweet, funny, charming or sexy.

I'm not just looking for someone who has all the conventional qualities of a "perfect" partner.

I'm not just looking for someone who has everything I could ever want as far as looks, personality and ability in bed.

Those things, ironically, are not enough.

I need someone who can teach me things. I need someone who can broaden my knowledge of the world around me, who can challenge me in every facet of my life and who can expand the methods through which I'm able to learn about absolutely anything.

If he can't do any of these things, if he can't enrich my life with his intellect, his wisdom, his perspectives, his ideas and his mind, I don't want anything to do with him, no matter how great he might be otherwise.

I don't want to just find the one; I want to find the one who teaches me the most.

I don't want a prince; I want a professor.

I want a guy who doesn't just offer chivalry, good looks and charm; I want him to offer me knowledge, to enhance my brain and to supply me with levels of awareness I'd never known before.

I don't want to find Mr. Right; I want a guy who tells me if I'm wrong.

I want a guy who isn't just down to validate my opinions.

I want him to be unafraid to call me out on my bullsh*t and to make me think twice about things I've always believed were true.

I don't want to find my plus one; I want to find someone who adds to my pursuit of knowledge.

I want a guy who isn't just down to party with me all the time. I want him to supplement my quest for knowledge with his own.

I don't want a man to take me on a date; I want a man to take me on an adventure.

I want a guy who isn't just down for conventional movie and dinner dates.

I want him to be willing to open my eyes to new experiences.

I don't want a rich man; I want someone who's rich with knowledge.

I want a guy who doesn't just have a lot of money. I want his major source of wealth to be his knowledge.

I don't want someone who lives for his looks; I want someone who lives for his books.

I want a guy who isn't just into expanding his body at the gym. I want him to be equally as into expanding his mind.

I don't want someone who fills my body; I want someone who fills my mind.

I want a guy who isn't just good in bed. I want him to also be good for my brain.

I don't want a relationship that's perfect; I want one that's worth it.