A wise, albeit fictional, character once said that “life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get.” Well, Forrest Gump, it's true. It's hard to prepare for life when you don't know what's coming your way and things get even messier when it comes to dating. There is a socialized set of rules and regulations that apparently you’re supposed to follow, yet no situation or relationship is black and white.
But, remain reflective and accountable, and potentially you could save yourself from some needlessly tricky situations — and heartbreak. Check out this list to help you navigate some of the speed bumps you’ll encounter along the way — the five kinds of guys you’ll probably date:
The Intellectual Hipster
Maybe you’ll bump into each other at the café where he's sipping on a caramel macchiato and you're waiting for a simple black coffee. Maybe you’ll feel inadequate immediately when you stare down at his frothy beverage. He'll probably be wearing a brown leather messenger bag that perfectly complements his skinny jeans and plaid shirt. Glasses may or may not be present (and whether or not they're prescription or just for fashion will remain unknown). He has a book nearby (unless he’s already reading one when you discover him).
And you'll swoon — scenarios blossom in your mind: heated debates about 19th century authors and nights spent spooning on a couch watching classic movies. He'll understand all your nerdy references and laugh at all your jokes. What you don't know is that soon, his constant need to correct your grammar will become unbearable. You don’t want to feel the need to spell check every single text (or every single thought!). You'll start to realize that it feels like work to keep up with him because while he is by no means more knowledgeable than you are, he believes himself to be — which is the most unbearable thing of all.
His passion for all things that involve physical activity manifests not only in his immaculate bod, but also in his attitude. He’s a winner: defeat is not an option and you are the finish line. He's a guy's guy and his buddies all know it, but during your alone time, you are the apple of his eye. Your dates may consist of beer and wings, surrounded by raucous laughter and belches; suddenly, you'll find yourself taking an interest in fantasy football.
He dominates in the bedroom. What you don't know is that his alpha-male attitude will eventually drive you mad. His carefree outlook on life will start to appear careless and you'll wonder how soon he'll get bored. It's only a matter of time before there's another conquest.
The Bad Boy
Your mother warned you about this guy. Chances are he will be gone as quickly as he came. Beyond that inexplicable (yet undeniable) attraction, this character will often make you question why you bother at all. At first, the allure of the unknown and unexpected is what you're after. You will relish the “hot and cold” game, which he has mastered.
Then there will be an unanswered text or call that will probably push you over the edge. You will resent his apparent disregard for everything that's important to you. You'll feel wounded by his general aloofness and nonchalant apathy. You'll complain to your friends who don't want to hear it because they've heard it before. But eventually, his habitual apologies and touching gestures (which are few and far between) won't affect you anymore.
The Nice Guy
Your mother also told you about this guy. He's tough to spot since he is a chameleon. Maybe he seems like any of the aforementioned types of man. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but you won't know this right away. You'll be smitten. With every car door opened, every goodnight kiss planted and every good morning text sent, you'll wonder why you hadn't found him sooner.
For the first time, you let yourself think of wedding bells and something blue. But suddenly, you're smothered. You've become the human host for this leech of politeness and decorum. What once seemed like a dream come true will soon seem like an emotional burden. Since he is more sensitive than you are, he causes you to question your own morals and character. There's no other way to put it — he's simply too nice. And maybe, you just aren't.
He’s the reason you put up with dating all of the other guys. Maybe you haven’t yet met him, but once you do, he will be a composite of the things you loved best about the guys with whom things didn’t work. He'll make you realize why nothing else worked and make you thankful that it didn't. He'll never make you question your self-worth or wonder if you're not smart enough. He'll never make you feel like you're last in a race with multiple competitors. He will be your rock — tough and durable and he’ll never break. He'll make all the trouble worth it.
Photo credit: CW/Gossip Girl