I have ghosted guys, I have also been ghosted by guys, and to be honest, neither feel good.
When you're ghosted, all you can do is wonder what you did wrong. (But newsflash: You didn't do anything "wrong," and nothing is personal.)
To be honest, ghosting guys makes me feel really sh*tty, especially when they're nice. It almost feels worse than being ghosted sometimes.
I've ghosted guys when I didn't have the courage to tell them I wasn't interested in seeing them again. I've also ghosted when I realized I wasn't quite relationship ready, didn't know how to express that, and thought going MIA just felt easier.
There are ways to tell someone is about to ghost you. Sometimes, you know when it's about to happen, based on how they're texting you. They might just drop off the face of the earth, or you can feel their interest waning, text by text, emoji by emoji.
By now, you've probably either sent or received one of these kinds of texts. But if you haven't, here are five messages people send that probably mean you're about to be ghosted.
1. The "Work Is Crazy" Text
Who are you? Brad Pitt? The President? Work is probably not that crazy.
Unless you're CEO of a multimillion dollar company, work is most likely not that overwhelming. If you're trying to get out of dates by saying work is crazy, then what you're actually saying is "I don't feel like doing this, and I'm using work as an excuse."
2. The "Let's Raincheck" Text
You know, when you flake on a date last minute and try to reschedule, with no intentions of actually making another plan?
The word raincheck is practically code for "sorry, this is over." Unless you are rainchecking because of a funeral, there's really no reason to cancel plans.
The other day, I went on a date with pink eye. I didn't even raincheck that! If you want to go on a date with someone, you're going on that date.
Man, I hope I didn't give that guy pink eye. (I haven't talked to him since. It's been a few days. I was ghosted, wasn't I?)
3. The "We'll Keep In Touch" Text
Also known as the "let's talk soon" text, this is a pretty good indicator that you will absolutely never talk again.
Kind of like how "maybe" actually means no, "keeping in touch" means "let's absolutely not keep in touch for sure."
4. The "I'll Let You Know If We Go Somewhere After" Text
If you're trying to meet up with someone when you're both out, and they keep telling you they'll let you know when they get to the next location, but the next location never comes, then they're probably trying to ghost you.
Haven't you ever been out with your girls, and a guy is trying to meet up with you, and you're doing everything you can to avoid him? Yeah, the "I'll let you know if we go somewhere after" text is another version of that.
There's never going to be "somewhere after." Stop waiting.
5. The "I've Got Plans :( " Text
If you try to make plans with someone, and they immediately shut it down without trying to make plans for a different date, then that shows not only disinterest, but it indicates they have no intentions of seeing you again.
If someone is busy but wants to see you, they'll offer up other times that they're free, and make sure that you guys lock down a plan. Someone who simply lets you know they're busy without following up is trying to ghost you.
Have you ever ghosted someone before? Have you been ghosted? I want to know how it went down. Tell me about it in the comments!