The following statement is guaranteed to be one of the most valuable lessons to be learned throughout the course of your life: You teach people how to treat you. This means that the way people treat you depends on how they react to the impression you make with your actions and visible persona.
It’s up to you to decide what people say or do to you. In other words: the shit you receive from others directly relates to how you respond to the conduct you have received. But blatantly displaying your own code of conduct is not enough to improve the quality the of behavior people show you.
Instead of complaining about men being Kanye West-ish rather than Rhett Butler-esque, reverse the focus 180 degrees and ask yourself - Are you a lady?
Please consider the question for a moment or two, as nine times out of ten when I switch on an American TV-channel I see:
A. A woman who is monstrously obese with no plans to change B. A girl showing off her ignorance and lack of education with pride C. A reality-show bunny mentioning blow-jobs and her vagina in every other sentence
Sadly for us Europeans, this is becoming representative of the U.S female population which leads me to the question: Why would a man ever make an effort to treat such an individual with any care or respect? A woman who even slightly corresponds to any of the aforementioned descriptions wouldn’t make it a day over here. True story.
As previously incorrectly stated in an article on Elite Daily, the dilemma is not about refusing to accept certain behavior with guys. Men will not change because you all of the sudden raise your demands, start to expect more of them and feel you deserve flowers or a diamond necklace. Respect needs to be earned. The solution is teaching men how to treat you, but you must first change yourself if you want to deserve such gratitude and admiration.
1. Analyze and improve yourself
I’m not going to beat around the bush: it is simply unrealistic to expect any chivalrous acts from a knight if you don’t reflect the attributes of a princess. I’m talking external here; you need to look your best to please your environment. “There are no ugly women, only lazy ones” is what Helena Rubinstein said, and I concur.
This might sound sexist towards my own gender, but I simply do not understand women that refuse to make an effort to look their best. However, looks isn’t everything. You need to also nurture your mind. Educate yourself on relevant and important political, economic and social issues so you can reflect intelligence in conversations.
Cut out vulgar vocabulary. Swearing in every other phrase is for white trash. Be discrete about your sex life. Forget about your current role models at the Playboy Mansion and in New Jersey, and strive to be graceful like Grace Kelly, witty like Queen Latifah and insightful like Lady D. Superior products are the most desirable ones.
2. Determine your principles
When you are a person of class who radiates elegance and dignity, men (whom are worthy of dating) will learn to respect you. They will adjust their behavior from “Asshole” to “Asshole with manners” and quiet down their inner caveman. Don’t forget, men are intrigued by women with principles and want to be with women they believe are in some way “superior” to them.
Use your attitude and behavior to alter his perception towards this direction. On the other hand, if you express indignity, ignorance and inelegance you will attract the same back from the man you’re currently with. It’s a spade for a spade.
3. Be conservative and take personal risks
There will be slip-ups and sometimes you will find yourself having accepted another idiot’s behavior. It’s fine, as life is a constant learning curve, and this is a practice of self-awareness which comes with experience and personal development.''
But try to honor your boundaries and intentions as they will earn you a King who will move more than one square to be with you. Sometimes you have to take personal risks and cut out that guy who refuses to accept your terms. Tough luck. A guy who doesn’t respect your rules on conduct has no business in your life anyway. In Europe there’s a saying: don’t expect more than pork from a pig.
Again, men’s’ behavior in the U.S hardly surprises me anymore when I see some women’s input in public media. Thus, the negative elements in the form of assholes, cavemen and pawns in a woman’s life often reflect her unsophisticated actions and thoughts. If you want a different approach from men, you need to start expecting more from them, but also yourself. Therefore, if you start treating yourself like a queen, men will soon enough be game.
Anna Madsen | Elite.
For more from Anna visit her blog by clicking here.