How To Tell Your Partner Who DGAF About Valentine's Day That You Want To Celebrate It
You've been dating your cute, new bae for about six months now. You've been lost in the glittery, sparkly throes of the hot AF honeymoon period.
Yes, you're a "chill girl" (whatever that means), and you know it's kind of lame, but you secretly can't wait to spend Valentine's Day with your new partner.
I mean, come on! You've ALWAYS been the single girl getting wasted and falling off barstools with all the other single girls on Valentine's Day.
But now, you're going to be able to gaze into the beautiful eyes of your partner at a candlelit dinner this February 14, right?
Not so fast, sugar. When you sweetly asked bae what they wanted to do on Valentine's Day, they rolled their bored eyes and grunted, "Nothing. Valentine's Day is lame."
You were stunned into silence as your romantic visions of chocolates and love notes disappeared into thin air. According to our Elite Daily Valentine's Day reader survey, men feel more apathetic about Valentine's Day than women do.
In fact, 68 percent of men wouldn't care or be upset if they didn't celebrate Valentine's Day at all (meanwhile, 51 percent of women claim they would be "somewhat disappointed." And we all know what that really means: pissed as hell).
According to our Elite Daily Valentine's Day reader survey, men feel more apathetic about Valentine's Day than women do. In fact, 68 percent of men wouldn't care or be upset if they didn't celebrate Valentine's Day at all (meanwhile, 51 percent of women claim they would be "somewhat disappointed." And we all know what that really means: pissed as hell).
This is why you should all become lesbians, like me. Just kidding!
But you know what, darling? You need to confront bae and let them know, even though they're apathetic about V-Day, doesn't mean you are, too.
After all, you aren't alone. Once again, Elite Daily's Valentine's Day reader survey, reported that about 42 percent of women and 43 percent of men feel "excited and happy" when they discuss Valentine's Day plans with bae.
So how do you do tell bae you want to celebrate Valentine's Day without sounding like a basic bitch from hell?
Well, lucky for you, sweet kittens, I spoke to Sky Stern, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and got some golden nuggets of advice on how you should confront your apathetic bae:
Affirm their feelings.
Stern says it's important to let your partner know you're not tossing their dismal Valentine's Day feelings aside when you're confronting them.
Affirm that Valentine's Day can be cliche and over the top. Don't deny it. Say 'I understand why you feel that way.'
Affirm that Valentine's Day can be cliche and over the top. Don't deny it.
This will immediately disarm your partner and let them know you actually respect their feelings.
And trust me, I've made this mistake many times because I tend to pull out the big guns super fast.
Rest assured, my method doesn't work.
Suggest doing something unconventional.
Sterns says if you're certain your partner hates Valentine's Day, don't force them to do something "traditional" for the holiday. Relationships are about compromise.
Say to them, 'I love you and want to celebrate what we have, but let's do in a different way.' Tell them it's really important to you, but even suggest celebrating it on a different day, if it makes them feel better. Let the person know it's important to you to celebrate what you have, but you can do it your own way.
Let the person know it's important to you to celebrate what you have, but you can do it your own way.
The first activity that came to both Stern's mind and my mind was ~skydiving~.
But hey, we get that skydiving isn't for everyone. So think more along the lines of something risky and different that breaks up the monotony!
You could go rock-climbing, ice-skating, go to a concert or just do something weird, like take a bondage class.
Ask them questions.
Stern says that when someone doesn't want to do something, but they are willing to compromise, ask questions about how they want the day to go. Don't expect them to execute exactly what YOU want, and make sure they feel like their opinion counts.
Ask them questions: 'Would you prefer if I plan the day? Do you want it to be something you plan or we both plan together?
Stern says that if you give them options, they're more likely to get excited.
However, if they're still being bitches, back off and do something for yourself.
She tells me,
You don't want to spend time with some who is miserable and not having a good time. Make your own plans.
Recognize it's a red flag if they aren't willing to compromise.
If your partner isn't willing to compromise on something that will make you happy, Stern says it's a red flag.
She explains, "Relationships are all about compromise, and if you partner won't compromise with you, reconsider your relationship."
If you partner won't compromise with you, reconsider your relationship.
Yes, girl, I think we got this down, right? Don't undermine their feelings, be willing to compromise, ask questions and strut away if they can't handle it, babe.