Not knowing what your ex is up to after a breakup can often be the source of the lies you tell yourself.
Our imaginations can run wild, and if we aren't ready to accept the events that contributed to the end of a relationship, we'll tell ourselves whatever's necessary in order to ease the heartache.
Therefore, stalking your ex on social media can be therapeutic. It could be the medicine your soul needs in order to start moving on with your life:
1. It helps stop the self-sabotaging.
After a breakup – when the anger subsides – we're left with thoughts about "what we could've done better." So, the process of analyzing all our imperfections begins.
It can become a vicious cycle because we become harsh critics and counselors at the same time, without any real proof we're on the right path.
We begin to live in our minds, seeking any self-help books that validate the fact that we contributed to the demise of our relationship.
It's exhausting to simply reflect on the excessive thoughts that pass through our minds when we're in the trenches of heartbreak. Self-sabotage is not only useless, but it's also one of the sharpest tools in your arsenal of weapons.
Keeping up with your ex on social media can alleviate a lot of the tales contributing to the self-sabotaging. Discovering that your ex is doing anything but analyzing his or her role in your relationship – and instead, maybe choosing to move on – is often the therapy you need.
You'll be angry and disappointed at first, but being privy to that information will prevent you from continuing to think your ex is the angel you've constructed in your mind.
2. You stop feeling unearned compassion.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, some pictures are worth a priceless reality check.
While having compassion toward others is important, that's not often the case after a breakup.
Be compassionate about the fact that if you two had known how to do better, you would have done better. But once you accomplish that, stop handing it out like it's candy.
Unearned compassion can lead to self-sabotage as well. It starts with feelings of remorse about that thing you said that one time, or that reaction you had that other time. But it's all downhill from there.
Social media allows us to see things for what they truly are, even if those things are the highlights of someone's life.
He may not be happy with the rebound, and unfortunately, Instagram can't deny or confirm that.
But that's not the point: The point is, he's moving forward... without you.
So, the next time you start handing out compassion, begin with yourself. Do some social media stalking to see if he actually deserves the pity party you may be giving him in your mind.
3. It can boost your self-esteem.
Breakups aren't fun, and the feelings we're left with once a relationship ends can be ugly, too. We all make mistakes.
But sometimes, we take it too far and think they define us. This leaves us feeling unworthy of our ex... and maybe even relationships in general.
When we are heartbroken, our imperfections are often magnified. Suddenly, our self-esteem plummets.
Thankfully, stalking your ex on social media can help with that, and it can actually be therapeutic for your self-worth.
We typically post the "very best" and "most fun" pictures on social media. Seeing that the highlight reel of your ex's weekend was driving to the local neighborhood bar will remind you how great your life is now that you're not together.
This will make you appreciate your solo hikes and endless laughs with your girlfriends that much more. And these aren't even things you're posting on social media... because when you're that entertained, who has time for Instagram?
Stalking my ex on social media hurt for a while. But it was better than therapy because I was ready to receive the lessons that came along with the process.
It's not something I recommend for the lighthearted because seeing pictures of your ex with someone new can feel like a stab in the stomach at first. But slowly, you begin to see this person for who he or she really is.
Consider social media free therapy for anyone with a remote sense of self-awareness, who is going through a breakup with the desire to face reality.