5 Stages Of Grief You Experience When Your BFF Gets A New Boyfriend
Picture this: Your best friend's name pops up on your phone. She probably wants to borrow the gorgeous new top she found in your closet for class tomorrow.
You read her text, it reads, “Hey! So I kind of have some huge news … brace yourself … I made if official with that guy I've been hanging out with!"
Woah. Slow down, there. Calm down. Breathe.
We can all agree that it's a pretty sh*tty feeling to see your best friend snagged by a bae. You're happy for them, of course, but who is this guy trying to force his way into your friendship?!
Here are the five stages of new boyfriend grief, and how to get through them without causing unnecessary drama:
Stage One: Denial
You: This can't be happening ... can it?! I thought we swore to be single together!
This wasn't supposed to happen. She's exaggerating. She isn't really dating him. She just put a label on it without his approval. Wait, her Facebook relationship status changed. Nope. I need to meet this guy. What if he's some crazy axe murderer?!
This isn't happening. I refuse to accept this.
Reality: She's excited! Think back to how you felt when you started dating your ex.
She's in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship where all she's feeling is excitement. She's probably going to talk non-stop about how funny he is, and how great his family (who she has never met) is.
Just push through it. If she's really driving you insane with the "he's so amazing" speech, let her know.
Communication is still as important as ever.
Stage Two: Anger
You: Screw this! She cancelled our "Harry Potter" marathon to hang out with him. It's official. I hate this guy. He's stealing my best friend. She was mine first. He doesn't even know her like I do.
Ugh. This isn't fair. I'm going to lose her over a stupid boy.
Reality: OK, pump the brakes. You don't hate him. You haven't even met him.
She's probably really nervous for the day you two finally meet, so she's probably trying to figure him out completely before her favorite person in the world meets her second favorite person in the world.
Chill out. You still grab lunch together every day, and she hasn't missed a single watch party for "The Bachelor" yet. She's trying to figure out how to balance this new person in her schedule, and it's your job to let her.
Stage Three: Bargaining
You: I will do her little brother's homework for the next six months if she spends more time with me. She's always with him! Hell, I'll even do her chemistry project if it means a couple more hours than we've been getting recently.
I miss my best friend.
Reality: You know you won't do anyone else's homework. You just won't. You won't even have to.
She's not spending less time with you. Most of the time she's spending with her new bae is time you wouldn't have spent together anyway, due to your club meetings and other activities.
Take a good look at the situation. She's probably balancing your friendship, school, work and her new boyfriend really well. If not, send her a quick text reminding her of your upcoming coffee date, and tell her how excited you are to catch up.
Then she'll know how much you value your time together.
Stage Four: Depression
You: She likes him more than me. I'm her second choice. I never thought I'd lose her, but I think I might be. It was fun while it lasted. It's all about him now.
Reality: Oh, come on! You don't seriously think she'd pick this guy (who she met a month ago) over you?!
You know everything about each other.
Your parents are practically best friends because of you two. She's the only person you'd let yell at your siblings because she's basically their adopted sister at this point, and she thinks the same of you.
He's not replacing you. Besides, he seemed pretty great when you guys went to Six Flags together, didn't he? Exactly.
Now that she has your approval, she won't seem as "on edge" as she has been recently.
Stage Five: Acceptance
You: He's really not that bad. In fact, this guy is probably the best boyfriend she's ever had. I guess I don't really mind sharing her ... I mean, the time she spends with him is time I get to focus on my work.
I'm still her number one, so I guess I'm OK with sharing her a little more than usual.
Reality: Yes! Admit it. You love her new boyfriend.
He helped you convince her to finally watch "The Walking Dead," and now it's a weekly chance for you to bond with the new guy AND your best friend at weekly watch parties.
Plus, he did introduce you to a super cute guy who's taking you out to a movie tomorrow. I smell a double date in your future.
I knew you could get through this!