Julien L. Balmer

4 Reasons I Value My Relationship With The Man Who Wasn't My Soulmate

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Despite what some people believe, all of us aren't looking for our “forever mates.”

In a culture that teaches us every relationship we choose to be in must “go somewhere” or ultimately lead to a walk down the aisle, it’s a mystery why any of us ever partner with someone just to have fun or to simply fall in love for the experience of it all.

The truth is, 95 percent of the relationships we choose to be in don’t lead to forever. They're meant for something else far more important.

So, the next time you’re thinking about walking away from someone who intrigues you, but who you can’t necessarily see yourself with long-term, you may want to consider the following:

1. Every relationship teaches you something.

And that something is usually about yourself.

What’s truly important to you? What do you really need in a partner?

How do you handle conflict with a significant other, and is there room for growth there? Where do you get triggered in relationships, and what changes still need to take place inside of you?

The truth is, just about every relationship you’ll ever have will eventually end. But different people have different things to teach you.

So, be open to people who are different, or you may miss out on some major growth opportunities.

2. Growth is sometimes more important than longevity.

Learning how to love another person unconditionally and how to open yourself up to being vulnerable is no small feat.

Many truly profound relationships start with two people who are initially closed off and not willing to give much of themselves because they don’t want to invest too much in the other person.

But ultimately, they end up doing just that. This is a successful relationship because you both took a chance, grew as people and taught each other to open up.

3. It’s tough finding someone you enjoy spending time with.

When you feel a connection or attraction to someone, it would be stupid to walk away from that, even if that someone's long-term goals don’t align with yours.

It’s not every day we find someone we both have sexual chemistry and a good time with.

Why not explore a “no-strings-attached” relationship?

Many amazing relationships start this way, and they end up being our most passionate and transformative ones, even if they don’t last long.

Remember: Even fleeting love is worthwhile. Fleeting lust can be pretty great, too.

4. When there’s no pressure, it’s typically more fun.

When we go into any relationship hoping and wanting it to be long-term, we take things a lot more seriously.

We feel the need to click with their friends, get along with their families and accept their personal styles and values as our own.

This is totally not an issue when you’re in a “for now” relationship. The only goal you have is to simply enjoy being together, and that makes the relationship much more fun.

The truth is, if it gets to the point where you fall in love and want to consider taking it to the next level, you’ll figure all the other stuff out.

When we really understand relationships are not always meant to last forever, we also have a deeper appreciation for the time and experiences we share with people while they are in our lives.

As we know, many marriages don’t last forever. And some relationships that never end in marriage often start off as "for right now," but are still going strong 20 years later.

So maybe consider diving into a “for now” relationship with someone you’re attracted to or have a nice connection with. Relish the time you do have together.

The memories you make with that person will never be forgotten, and they will have some part in shaping you into the person you become.

And who knows? That may help you with the person you end up with “forever.”