Oh, the single life. Sometimes, let's be honest here, it totally sucks. It feels like the plague. It feels like your V has completely dried up. The dating scene feels like a really bad comedy show with a two-drink minimum when all you want to do is get the hell out of there.
And yet, all the crazies have the stellar boyfriends -- the ones who are polite but sporty, charming but funny, are romantic but will also bang you like a savage when necessary.
And there you are, feeling like the last single girl, your spirit animal feeling more like Daria than Samantha Jones. But there are so many plus sides to being single that, of course, are so easy to forget about.
What you need to remember -- even when you're the third wheel, you're feeling so terribly lonely and listening to Dashboard Confessional, and you're convinced you're going to live forever alone -- is that this time of your life should actually be celebrated.
Because not only will being single make you a stronger, more independent woman, but it will also change everything for your next relationship -- for the better!
Here are four reasons being happy when you're single will actually help you find true love:
There's no pressure to find “the one” when you're having fun.
As soon as you accept your single status, the sooner you can get over that sassy, bitter side to your single self.
Instead of living your days like a victim -- whining and moping like, "Oh, poor me. I'm so single it hurts!" -- you should be embracing your freedom, having fun with your friends and believing that whatever happens, happens.
You don't want to force the idea of love down your throat; you want it to be organic. When you put all this pressure on anything in life, it never, ever happens. It always happens when you aren't looking anyway, right?
So if you go about dating/relationships/love like it's something that will just happen when it's right, you'll have a lot more time for having too much fun.
You know yourself better.
The longer you spend as a single girl, the more you will come to understand yourself. And when you know yourself -- in and out, the good, the bad and the ugly -- you will have a better understanding of what you need, want and deserve in a relationship.
This is why so many relationships fail. People rush into relationships because they are so terrified of being alone, they'll date anyone, they'll “love” anyone and then, one day, they'll wake up and realize they aren't happy, their SO feels like a stranger, their own heart feels like a stranger because you can never fully know another person until you know and love yourself first.
When you're single, you have all the time and energy in the world to focus on you, to nurture your soul and mind and to make mistakes and learn from them. And instead of being a broken woman, unsure and insecure, you'll be 100 percent badass YOU.
You won't rush into a relationship that's not right.
The longer you're single, the stronger you become. And eventually you'll realize, fuck no, you'll never settle for anyone who isn't worth your time. When you've been single for this long, then why not wait until it's absolutely right?
When you're happy being single, there's no dire need to find love. Like, sure, it would be nice, just like a Ferrari would be nice, but you can certainly live without it.
There's a huge difference between wanting something and needing something. And when it comes to love -- to a healthy kind of love -- it needs to be something you want. But the longer you're single and make sense of that, the slower you'll be to jump into something so desperately.
Instead, you'll make careful, realistic decisions.
You won't depend on your SO to make you happy.
Love is supposed to be a union, not a dependency. Yes, your SO can make you happy, but he should only be enhancing your happiness, not creating your happiness.
This is when people get needy, weak and clingy because without their SO around, without feeling whole themselves on the inside, they will depend on them completely for confidence, for entertainment, for fulfillment. And that's not fair.
Love should be all about balance, complementing one another and enjoying each other. It shouldn't be about pressuring anyone -- and when it is, they will eventually break, resent you and have nothing left to give.
But if you're happy on your own, it's happiness at 200 percent.