Whether you were divorced, just broke up with someone or enjoyed being single, you decided to take a “leave of absence” from the dating scene.
There’s nothing wrong with that (in fact, I encourage it!).
However, time has gone by, and it's time to move forward.
How do you know when it’s time to start looking for “Mr. Right” and start living the next chapter of your life?
Here are seven signs to let you know it’s time:
1. Your work/life balance is pretty stable.
You’re content with your current lifestyle and there are no major stressors (that you know of) consuming the bulk of your time and energy.
Things are moving along in a consistent pattern. Your job is pretty secure and you haven't experienced anything major in your life since that horrible breakup. Life is actually upbeat and you enjoy it.
2. You’re taking good care of yourself.
You are physically healthy. You’re mentally healthy. You’re connected with a spiritual outlet.
You take the time to do things that excite you and make you happy.
You’re at a really good place in your life right now. You love who you are, you're feeling yourself because of it and the world doesn't stop you from doing so.
3. Your ex is no longer a bitter presence in your mind.
You can actually sleep at night without pondering the same-ole’ bitter thoughts of, “How could he do this to me?” and, “What did I do wrong?” or, “he is going to regret leaving me!”
These types of thoughts are almost like “emotional cutting” because they bring up hurt and pain, yet you cannot stop thinking about them.
That is… until you no longer care anymore about your ex. He is no longer a thought to you. You can actually enjoy the days and see colors again.
When your ex is no longer a part of your daily thoughts, it's a clear sign you have officially let go and are ready to hold onto something new.
4. You are no longer interested in rebounds.
Rebound: noun. 1) Someone whom you date immediately after a breakup to take your mind off of your ex, to try to make your ex jealous or to show that you have clearly moved on from your previous relationship.
2) Someone you use to distract you from the pain, hurt and anger you experienced after a recent ex and/or breakup.
This person often evokes no real emotions or feelings and is often used physically and emotionally until you are ready to be single.
When you actually want your dates to mean something and you have no interest in catching a rebound, you know it’s time to start looking for the real thing.
5. Guys aren’t the main thing on your mind.
Usually, when you are getting over a breakup, you tend to focus on replacing your ex with someone else.
Another thing that often happens is that you are so used to hanging out with a guy that you think it's the only way to have fun.
Once you shift your focus on something that is more empowering to you, like your family, friends, career or doing some good in the world, you know that you are emotionally secure enough to include another individual in your life.
You can love this person just as much as you love everything else that is going on in your life.
6. You're done with playing "the game."
You know the game I’m talking about; the one where you flirt with everyone until you find someone you’re really attracted to.
Then, you play hard to get to see if he'll bite the bait. Finally, you play around to try to figure out who will say “I love you” first.
When you’re tired of playing the game with every guy you meet, you are finally ready to just cut the crap, go straight to the real talk and choose the one who is ready to settle down, too, you know you’re ready to start looking.
7. You are happy with who you are.
If you want to live a life you absolutely love, you have to know who you are, what you stand for, what you value and you have to also determine what you want from a relationship.
Once you establish these things and your vision is crystal clear, love will come to you whether you’re looking for it or not.
Once you figure out that you are ready to start dating, take it slow, be sure to communicate and remember to always lay out your expectations and expect to receive the same thing in return.
Remember, you already have everything you need in order to be happy in life.
Choosing to date again is not because you need to feel happy, it's because you now want to share your happiness with someone. Ain't nothing wrong with that! Love on, beautiful!
If you want more information on how to get your head in the game, and how to come up with a dating plan that will work for you and your needs, click here.