Unfortunately, there comes a time in many relationships when you realize that the connection you had just isn't there anymore. You know it's time to make a decision: You either have to work on your relationship and try to save it, or you have to let it go and move on.
Usually, if this is a decision you need to make, you know the answer deep down in your heart. But even if you know your relationship is past saving, sometimes, it's hard not to ignore those signs. This is simply because you don't want to go through a breakup or hurt the other person.
It's important to be honest in these types of situations, for both your sakes and out of respect for your partner. Since I've been in this boat more than once, I've decided to get really honest with both you and myself about the signs I ignored, even when I knew there was no hope for my relationships:
1. Every little thing turns into something bigger than it should.
This was one of the biggest signs for me that my relationship was way past saving. I found myself constantly turning the littlest arguments into way bigger things than they should have been. If my ex said something questionable, I'd take it completely out of context. Then, I'd create a huge argument.
I realized I was hurting the relationship because I wasn't in love anymore. I didn't feel the way I once did. I almost wanted to give him a reason to break up with me, just so I wouldn't come across as the bad guy.
2. Every little thing your partner does starts to bother you.
I started to look at little things – like leaving a dirty napkin on the table or not putting down the toilet seat – as obviously bigger issues than they should have been. Little annoyances started to take over my brain, and they made me not want to be with my boyfriend even more.
Every little thing he did made me cringe. I'd roll my eyes when he chewed too loudly. I'd be disgusted when he left his dishes in the sink for more than a day.
I'd be fuming when he didn't make the bed in the morning. All these little things made my mind constantly run in circles with anger and frustration, and they made me want to break up with him even more.
3. You don't feel wanted anymore.
Remember when you two first started dating, when he made you feel like the most special person on the planet? He'd do anything for you. He'd tell you every time he saw you just how taken aback by your beauty he was. You felt like a million bucks.
That spark should absolutely never die.
Your partner should never stop telling you those things when he feels them. He should never stop making you feel as special as he did when you two first got together.
It's important that you feel wanted in your relationship. Because when you don't, it does nothing but damage your self-esteem. This can, in turn, lead to bigger issues.
4. You're not having fun anymore.
While relationships are never all rainbows and butterflies, they should still add happiness to your life. Having this partner in your life should make you a better person. He should make you smile on your darkest days. He should help you experience new things and take chances.
If you're not branching out of your comfort zone and having fun, it's probably time to end the relationship. It might be past saving if you know deep down in your heart that you will never have fun with this person ever again, like you did before.
5. The trust has been broken.
Simply put, once one partner in a relationship has broken trust, the relationship will never be the same.
Take my best friend, for example: She's been with her boyfriend for almost two years. But about a year ago, she found out that he had cheated on her toward the beginning of their relationship.
After that moment, nothing was the same. She always feels like he's somewhere he shouldn't be or doing something he shouldn't be doing. She hasn't felt completely at peace with her relationship since then. A majority of their arguments stem from her not trusting him.
Once the trust has been broken, it's hard for things to go back to normal. Depending on the circumstances, this might be the breaking point in your relationship, thus making it impossible to save.
6. You have no interest in physical intimacy anymore.
While sex isn't everything in a relationship, it's a very important part of keeping the fire alive. It seems like in every relationship I've been in, I've known it was over when I stop wanting to be physical with that person.
I stop wanting to hold hands. I stop wanting to be kissed. Sex started to feel more like a chore.
As soon as I stopped wanting the physical connection I valued so much at the beginning, I knew things would never be the same.
7. You aren't in love anymore.
You start to feel like you're only in the relationship because you don't want to be alone, or because you don't want to face the difficulties of a breakup.
Maybe the two of you live together, and you aren't breaking up with your partner because you don't want to be faced with all the bills alone. Maybe the idea of not having someone to vent to or sleep next to terrifies you.
Either way, if you're only staying in the relationship for a reason like that, it's definitely past the point of saving. If you're not in love anymore, what's the point? You should never stay in a relationship when your feelings have drastically changed like this.
Even if it's the hardest thing you'll ever do, if you don't love this person anymore and can't see that changing, it's only fair that you be honest with yourself and end things. You'll be happier in the end.