33 Signs You're Dating A Man Child
I have a soft spot in my heart for the man child. I don't really have a physical "type" of guy I'm into at all. And, for the most part, there isn't even really one common thread you can find in their personalities. Except they all sort of veer on the side of man child.
It realistically has something to do with the fact that I am a 15-year-old boy trapped in a 23-year-old girl's body, so I probably have a lot in common with these guys. We both enjoy ourselves a good old fashioned poop joke, and we both will probably choose a night out with our friends over literally anything else. It works out nicely.
Like dating any other human being, dating a man child comes with its positives and negatives. On the bright side, your life is a ton of fun. On the downside, you're constantly being disappointed by a guy who can't commit to anything.
Not sure if this applies to you? Read through these and see if maybe you're dating a man child.
1. He aggressively hit on you when you first met.
He didn't just, like, "get your number." No, he followed you around the party doing the worm until you'd agree to go on a date with him, or something else equally ridiculous.
2. He is full of grand gestures with not a lot of follow through.
He'll beg you to let him take you out to dinner at your favorite restaurant in the city followed by a "surprise adventure" every day for months, and then as soon as you agree, he asks if you'd rather just Netflix and chill at his place.
3. He is literally obsessed with his friends.
The bright side here is that you really never have to worry about him with other girls. It's just his friends that you are always going to come second to.
4. He's never been in a real relationship.
And, odds are, he's not rushing to be in his first one anytime soon.
5. He wants you to take care of him.
Sometimes you wonder if he wants a girlfriend or a mom.
6. He messes up, then feels REALLY bad about it.
He just didn't realize you WANTED him to text you on your birthday!
7. His messing up usually involves him getting blackout drunk and doing something dumb.
He wanted to be there for your birthday dinner, but then his boys wanted to do boys weekend in Vegas and, I mean, how was he not supposed to go?
8. He makes you laugh harder than anyone else.
He is without a doubt the goofiest, most fun person to be around.
9. He never follows through on plans.
If you get so far as to even have a plan with him on the books, odds are he's bailing.
10. He high fives you for farting.
And when he farts, you KNOW you're getting trapped under the covers.
11. He thinks it's hysterical if you poop.
You can poop with the door open at his apartment.
12. He encourages you to go out and hang with friends probably more than you normally even would.
He's not one of those annoying boyfriends who "controls" you or makes you "boring." No, if anything, he makes you more fun.
13. He is the life of every party.
Parties are where he really shines.
14. He will only take you to cheap date spots where splitting the bill is a possibility.
But you count your blessings that you got a "date" out of him in the first place, even if it was drunk In-N-Out.
15. He never calls it a "date." It's always just a "hang out."
And sometimes you wonder if you're buddies who just happen to also have sex, or two adults who are actually dating.
16. He will never go down on you.
But you will give him plenty of blow jobs, obviously.
17. He refuses to make any sort of promise.
And, on the off chance that he does make one, you can bet your bottom dollar he's not keeping it.
18. He will absolutely NEVER define what you are.
He's perfectly content living in the vague in-between until the end of time.
19. He's brutally honest.
If he doesn't like what you're wearing, he's not going to try to sugar coat it like an adult who knows his likelihood of getting laid depends on this. No, he's just going to tell you he hates that dress.
20. He doesn't want to lose you, but he'll never fight for you.
The thought of losing you terrifies him because he really does like you. But he is also not going to go out of his way to prevent that from happening.
21. He's annoying in a sort of endearing way.
"Playing it cool" has never been in his repertoire. No, he'll just text you nonstop until you respond. And if that doesn't garner a response, he'll give you a call demanding to know why he didn't get a response.
22. His most redeeming quality is that he's "fun."
You're never going to have as much fun with a real, fully grown human as you will with him.
23. You've had to take him home and put him to bed on more occasions than one.
He's always the drunkest girl at the party.
24. He is the king of drunk texts and calls.
Waking up to 64 missed calls from him is no new feat.
25. He'll occasionally go through with a huge grand gesture, but his execution is never quite fully there.
Sure, maybe he sent you flowers for your birthday. But they're a week late and you're allergic to them.
26. He never understands why you're mad at him.
And you know he's never going to get the MILLIONS of hints you're dropping for him left and right.
27. He spends the large majority of his time smoking weed and playing video games.
Instead of, you know, going to a job.
28. He is constantly chuckling at texts in the group chat with his college buddies.
And half of those jokes are probably his own.
29. He was the man in college.
And he hasn't quite moved on from that.
30. You've seen him cry.
Yep, he's a cryer for sure.
31. His go-to flirting style is making fun of you.
He literally flirts like a 12-year-old boy, and you don't hate it.
32. He still lives with his parents.
And probably won't be moving out any time soon.
33. Even when he's a douche, he means well.
That's why, as much as he INFURIATES you sometimes, you can never quite stay mad at him.