I've always had a weird perception of post-breakup etiquette as a result of my parents' frankly weird relationship. My parents were best friends before they started dating. Then, they were hookup buddies. Then, they were boyfriend-girlfriend. Then, they were married. Then, they were divorced. And then, they were best friends again. So, to me, breaking up never necessarily meant you have to stop talking to your ex completely. But eventually, I grew up and started having my own exes and realized the whole "should you text your ex" question actually isn't quite so simple.
On one hand, that person used to be your best friend — the person you trusted with literally everything and anything. So obviously, you're going to want to shoot them a quick text when something awesome happens, when something terrible happens, or when something totally neutral happens, but it reminds you of that one time you guys saw that weird movie on Netflix. Yeah, the temptation to text them and stay in touch is definitely there.
But on the other hand, you're trying to move on after a breakup, and as much as you tell yourself your feelings are gone, and as much as they actually may be gone, finding love with someone new is going to be pretty difficult when you're still chatting it up with your ex all the livelong day.
So what's the solution here? Well, there may just not be the same one for every single person. But a recent Reddit thread asked men how often they talk to their exes, and their answers might work as some sort of guideline for you.
There's only one ex he could actually see himself talking to.
He wants the best for her, but he'd never talk to her.
They're his exes for a reason.
He keeps in touch with her on a daily basis.
There is one he talks to every week.
He Snapchats her every day without reason.
Since breaking up, they've only spoken twice.
He hasn't, and he never will.
He rarely goes out of his way to keep in touch.
He cuts them off cold turkey post-breakup.
He purposely dates girls out of his circle so he can cut them off post-breakup.
They didn't fully cut ties until she moved away.
Things were fine between them until she moved on.
After 10 years together, they can't help but stay in touch.
It's not an issue until one person finds someone new.
He doesn't speak to any of them.
He doesn't totally cut them off... but he basically does.
My main takeaway here? Text your ex happy birthday. Say hi when you see them in person. But chatting all the time and hanging out whenever you get the chance is probably just going to leave you stuck in a relationship that's already over.
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