She Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: 10 Ways To Determine If Someone Loves You

by Wei Li

If you’re reading this right now, I believe it was through no coincidence your last Google search was something along the lines of “Does he love me?” Well, how do you know if someone loves you?

It's easier than you might think:

1. He or she listens.

When someone loves you, he or she will always listen intently because every word you say is yet another bullet point in the quest to better understand you. Conversations will revolve around coffee, not six tequila shots; if someone loves you, you can bet he or she wouldn’t want the quality of your conversation to be diluted by any outside factor.

2. He or she loves you for who you are.

When someone loves you, he or she loves you even if you smell like eau de sweat. He or she will love you all the same even if you have seaweed stuck between your teeth. The only difference is, he or she will whisper softly into your ear to inform you of that incriminating seaweed as he or she reaches in to peck you lightly on the cheek.

3. He or she pushes you to better yourself.

Because this person loves you, he or she believes you’re worth so much more than you’ve set out to achieve. Sometimes, it gets tough as tempers flare due to mounting pressures. You may feel like you’re up against impossible expectations, but more often than not, this person will help you do better in the future.

This is the part where your love for him or her gets puts to the test as you question why he or she is pushing you so hard. The answer is, in his or her eyes, you’re worth so much more than this.

4. Your insecurities matter to him or her.

It could be the five pounds you gained when you first discovered the cronut, or it could be that f*cked up haircut you got from that dodgy neighborhood hair salon that was having a $10 promo. But when someone loves you, you always see your worries reflect in this person's eyes as you confide in him or her. He or she will never immediately shrug off your fears, or worse, laugh them off.

5. He or she is honest with you.

You can always count on this person to tell you the truth; at some point, it becomes sheer obligation. This person will tell you like it is because he or she doesn’t want you making the wrong choices.

6. He or she makes an effort to understand.

This goes for everything you say, even if it doesn’t make sense to this person at first. You should also remember it's important to be upfront and not beat around the bush when it comes to something serious. Additionally, there’s a difference between understanding and being patronizing. When someone loves you, he or she will make an effort to understand the reasons behind the things you say or do.

Your signifiant other may not always agree with you, but he or she will always try to evaluate and reason with you because he or she knows there’s more to a relationship than winning arguments.

7. You can see it in his or her eyes.

You know the corny phrase, “Your eyes are the windows to your soul”? It’s true, and pretty much common sense. If this person confesses his or her love for you, but his or her eyes are scarily detached and words feel hollow, run for your life!

8. He or she is receptive to and respectful of your family and friends.

This can be rather subjective; however, I suppose unless you hail from an abusive background or your friends are crackheads who snort cocaine as much as you inhale oxygen, there’s really no basis for this person to be a douche and disrespect your loved ones.

9. Words become noticeably plural.

First thing's first: I’m not an advocate of trashy PDA, nor am I telling you to become a physical extension of your lover. You can remain singular; in fact, please do. What I mean to illustrate here is that when someone is in love with you, the things he or she says naturally become inclusive of you. You become a part of this person's plans and he or she genuinely wants to build a future with you.

There needs to be a balance here, though, because while co-dependency is sweet, neediness is not. Sounds like rocket science? Welcome to monogamy.

10. He or she will always make you feel special.

I’m not sure about you, but I’m extremely picky and don’t believe in jumping into relationships or being with someone for the sole purpose of companionship. If I wanted companionship, I’d get a pet.

Don’t get me wrong here because I’m not judging against others who do, but I do believe that when someone loves you wholeheartedly, he or she will go out of his or her way to make you feel special in many little ways. It could be getting out of bed slightly earlier to make you breakfast, caressing your face while gazing into your eyes during those intimate moments or simply just sticking around whenever you’re feeling down.

When you mean that much to someone, you can rest assured that you'll be ranking high on this person's priority list and it will always feel effortless.

Photo via We Heart It